I Might Even Needlepoint It Onto A Pillow.

So, a bit after we got engaged, I went over to Offbeat Bride and joined the Tribe, the forum for fans and followers of OBB who are actively planning their weddings. Reading the blog and forum posts have already helped me start a little post of my own in my head, but today I got help from an unexpected source. Two, actually.

I forget why it came up today, but CE and Shift AB started talking about getting married...or specifically, how they don't want to get married if they can help it. Actually, AB just doesn't want to get married yet, but their point was still the same: they didn't want to be tied down. They're both in committed relationships and don't plan on changing that at all, but they still see a wedding ring as a noose. AB said, almost verbatim, "There are still so many things I want to do!"

I said this then, and I'll say this now, and I'll say it over and over until my tongue falls out of my head, and I feel so strongly about it I'm even going to go over the top and bold this sucker: If getting married means you no longer get to do the things you want to do with your life, you're marrying the wrong person.

AB conceded this, then said that usually getting married led to people assuming that Family Life would begin immediately thereafter, namely Having A Bunch of Kids. Also, "people" usually included the bride, whether the groom is aware of it or not.

Let me get this out of the way now, for anyone who was wondering: Ryan and I are not having kids anytime soon. We both want kids, at least two but maybe three, and we're not putting it off because we're hesitant about that. To be honest, I'm getting as bad as my mother when I see babies in public, to the point where Ryan will start quietly ticking at me until I punch him in the arm. It's just going to be a long time before we can.

The same year we're getting married, Ryan is planning on going back to school to get a Master's in Education--hell, he'll theoretically be starting the program a month before the wedding. The program is about three years long, and it's as likely as not that he won't be able to do a full- or even part-time job at the same time. We may not even be able to afford an apartment, let alone a baby, even if I have a full-time job (and sell photography on the side and whatever else I'll be doing for the next 18 months to save for the wedding). Then, after he graduates, he has to find a good, secure job, and we have to get financially secure enough to have our own place. Ideally a house, but that's unlikely.

So: marriage, diploma, career, home. THEN babies.

If I hear one squeak about babies between the exchanging of the rings and the acquiring of a lease or mortgage, there will be blood.

Glad we have that straight.

And no, this isn't the blog post that's slowly forming in my head, which is tentatively titled Taking Back The Wedding. This is just stuff.

I'm exhausted and frustrated with life in general and I really wish I didn't have work tomorrow but I do so poop.

I Really Am A Hippie, I Swear.

Today...was the girly day.

Ryan and I got up on the "early" side (for us) and went together to get a planning notebook. I was going to get one yesterday, but I got myself all kinked up by details (padfolio? binder? should it match our theme? am I really having these stupid thoughts?). As predicted, Ryan basically pointed and said "That one works," and now we have a notebook to jot down ideas and plans and tape in inspiration pictures for the wedding and blah blah blah.

The other thing I did today was go on a road trip with Aurelie to the Vera Bradley Outlet Sale in Fort Wayne.

:D

I WAS GOOD. I bought a purse I've been wanting forEVER, and an apron which I've needed anyway, and they were both on really good sale and I came in under budget so THERE.

It was nice to just drive and talk and hang out with Aurelie :) I know I've mentioned her a lot, and there's a good reason: we're almost the same person. She's the Indiana me. So we tend to get along really well. :D

Tomorrow is back to work, five more days of eight hour shifts that I really shouldn't whine about because, hey, I have a pretty damned good job that puts a roof over our heads and medicine in our systems with people I actually like, so nyah.

...I'm tired. Night!

This Is Going To Be A Self-Centered Post. For A Good Reason.

Sorry for the radio silence for a week, but I've really only had one thing to post about since last Friday, and had been unable to due to communication issues...the point is:

WE'RE ENGAGED!

:D

It happened on Friday, and it's been hell ever since. I've worked every night since, including that one, and he's been sick to the point that he called out three days in a row. We actually won't have a corresponding day off to sit down and plan and celebrate until next Friday...not that we have anything we can solidly plan yet.

The tentative date is October eleventh of next year....or 10/11/12 :D That was totally his idea, but I love it. Of course, it is a Thursday, and it'll probably be a popular date which means venues will book early and blah blah blah.

I promise I'll do my best not to make this blog all about wedding stuff from now on. It shouldn't be too hard since, again, it's a year and a half away...still, I'm dying to plan!!

But for now, I must make dinner for the hungry man. More tomorrow!