Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Made For You

There has been so much going on in my life since my last post. I have been stretching my skills and abilities, working hard on several projects, fighting hard battles with myself, and always learning. Hell, I walked on fire two weekends ago! I have so much I could write about!

...but that's not what I'm posting today.

I'm not sure if I believe in Fate or Destiny...I tend more toward the You Make Your Own Destiny side of things. I do believe that, sometimes, little things happen for a reason. You'll notice something on the side of the road, a song will come on the radio, a random stranger will say something that strikes you as relevant to your story, and it happens because you need to hear or see it.

Last week, for the first time in a few months, I felt like listening to my OneRepublic combination CD, with songs from both their albums. I'm not sure what compelled me to put it in, but I'm glad I did. Almost all of their songs make me feel better about life in general, or just plain make me happy. This song, however, is the one that has been leaping out of the speakers and jumping up and down on my head.


I was writing
Thinking with my long hand
Put pen to paper
Everything was sinking
Then you start to wonder
How you gonna handle me when I'm under
Sinking in the darkest sea

Everybody wants you to make it
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to make it
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it
T-t-take it

Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love?
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
It was made for you...

Tell me something
Something that can move me
Don't tell me lies
Or I swear you're gonna lose me
Didn't like the notion
Jealous of the fish
It feeds your devotion
Swimming inside of me

Everybody wants you to make it (Can you feel all the love?)
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it (Can you feel all the love?)
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to make it (Can you feel all the love?)
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it (Can you feel all the love,)
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
It was made for you...


(Song on YouTube)

I'll admit, I'm not 100% sure of what's going on in the verses, lyric-wise. I think it's a writer struggling with the inner insecurities that many creatives have, the worries that "it" won't happen, whatever "it" means for each person.

It's the bridge and chorus that I care about. I have listened to this song so many times over the past week, trying to nail that sucker of a message home: Everybody wants you to make it, everybody wants you to take the chance...feel the love, it was made for you.

I'm not proud of it, but I can be very delicate, and have been even moreso over the past two months. I'll be in a fine mood, even a great mood, and then one little thing will set me off, and I'll sink into tears or temper. Doesn't help that I have this habit of anthropomorphizing every single thing in existence, so when an object doesn't stay where I put it, or jumps out to trip me, or doesn't hang right, or whatever, it feels like a personal slight.

I live on the edge of frustration, and it sometimes feels like Something is pushing me over that edge on purpose. I usually accuse the Universe of being that Something, of not wanting me to keep going in the direction I was heading, of sidetracking me with annoyance and frustration. This song's message is one that I need to take in and glue to my insides.

The Universe is not out to get me; it wants me to be happy.
My friends, my family, and the Universe all want me to succeed.
This is hard lesson to learn, to hold on to.
I am trying.