This Ruth in 2009.

I’m going to start this off on a bad note, for two reasons: so I can end it on a good note, and because I hated this year with fiery passion and I need to get it off my chest.

This. Year. Sucked.

The winter went on for eons and was bitter cold. The spring was cold and damp and unpleasant. Summer started off with an ocean’s worth of rain, then petered out in a humid misery. I will admit that fall and this current winter have not been too bad (knock on wood), but the first two and a half seasons of this year straight-up blew.

The people we lost, dear god. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Brittany Murphy, Ed McMahon, Bea Arthur, Dom DeLuise, Ted Kennedy, Frank McCourt, Les Paul, Patrick Swayze, Walter Cronkite. Icons, idols, heroes, many taken too soon.

Closer to home, a dear friend of mine lost his father this year, only a few months ago, and my dad lost an employer and close friend, as well as had many friends diagnosed with various illnesses, mostly cancers. My boss lost her mother-in-law.

The worst death for me this year was my Uncle Bill, technically my great uncle, who passed away in February. Bad enough that this was my first experience with losing someone close to me, Uncle Bill was essentially my grandfather, something I never realized the magnitude of until it was almost too late. That alone is all I need to say that this year sucked.

The cherry on top, though, was my cousin Zach. In June, he was diagnosed with bile duct and liver cancer, and was given only a few months to live. He is in his early 30s, and is happily married with two small daughters, one 5 and one turning 2 in just a couple of days. Prime of his life, and a horrible diagnosis.

This is where I will start to climb back up.

Zach is still alive, and is getting well. Next month he will be celebrating the sixth month mark of his diagnosis, and the fact that he has so far beaten the diagnosis. The chemo is working, and his attitude is fantastic--he refuses to see that the odds or statistics relate to him, and has been 99% positive throughout. His tumors are shrinking at a fantastic rate, and his upcoming surgery, while scary, will be a huge step towards recovery.

Due to being sick both days, I missed both Uncle Bill’s funeral, and his ashes ceremony. But I got to say goodbye. I visited him a few days before the end, I got to thank him and tell him I loved him, we had one last embrace. I wish I could have made those ceremonies, but I would never trade one for the other. Beyond that, he had a wonderful, full, long life, with loving children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, with a loving wife he was married to for over sixty years. The church was filled to the brim at his funeral, over 300 people came to show their respects. If that’s not a sign of a good man, I don’t know what is.

There were beginnings this year as well as endings. My cousin Aliza was married in April, with a beautiful ceremony and an awesome, fun-filled reception. My childhood best friend, Lindsay, was also married this year, in September.

Many women at Curves were blessed with grandchildren this year, including my boss, whose stepdaughter had twin boys the day after Easter.

I made a lot of progress on many personal levels—I started another program at MCC, made great progress in therapy and with inner revelations, and made huge strides in getting healthier and more fit. I also made my first “big” purchase (a Queen-sized bed) and moved in with my wonderful boyfriend (who is also making big strides in his own life). Even at work, I’ve gotten closer to some of the members (to the point of friending a few on Facebook), and I’m enjoying the projects I work on and what I do there in general.

And, while he is currently acting as a disappointment to many of those who voted for him, I still count Obama’s inauguration as a big plus to the year; I’ve even been joking that we used up all the good karma on January 20th.

So, this year wasn’t a total bust. I still think it sucked, though. And I can’t wait for 2010.

Next post: Resolutions, and where I want to go in the new year!

Oy to the Vey.

I haven’t updated really anywhere in a long while (unless you count Facebook, which I don't). There’s a lot going on, and it would take a long entry just to describe it all.

I have quite a few half-baked blog posts that need to be finished up, including a state-of-the-Ruth one that I’m hoping to post for the new year—either New Year’s Eve, or New Year’s Day. Plan is for that post to talk about what happened in 2009, and what I’m thinking of for 2010 (and beyond!). Since I’m all done with classes now, I have some more time to actually finish my thoughts and finally post them!

Here’s the quickest recap I can do:

[o] Finished classes, did pretty well all-around
[o] Am trying to piece together my next steps, education-wise. This is a blog post in itself, seriously, so I’ll just say this: TOO MANY GODDAMN OPTIONS.
[o] Work is going well, home life going well, health going well (besides a minor cold (yes Dad I’m taking vitamin C and drowning myself in juice)), school is done and is therefore going VERY well ~.^
[o] …ta da?

ETA: Combination thank you to those who read and comment, and apology for never responding to comments! I won't make excuses...I'll just apologize and run away ~.^

Achtung! Again!

This post led to this post, where I answered the first of these three questions:

1. What is the quality of experience I want to have as I earn a living?
2. What gifts do I want to give to life as I toil at challenging tasks that are interesting to me?
3. What capacities do I want to develop in myself while doing my work?

In this post, I’ll answer the second question.

What gifts do I want to give to life as I toil at challenging tasks that are interesting to me?

I’d like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I’d like to give the world a Coke…

Okay, no, not really.

Seeing as my top priority for a job that I covered in the last post was creativity, it seems fairly obvious what I want to put out into life, the world, and the universe in general. I want to create.

I’m not a musician, and I’m not a physical artist—I don’t want to add sound to the world, or a painting or sculpture. As much as my father might want it, that’s just not what I want to do. I do love to write, and I love to be creative with concepts and ideas.

I’d like to give originality. I’d like to make someone stop and think—wether it’s about a product or about a concept. I’d like to make people react in pleasant surprise, laughing or smiling or even just glazing over as they’re startled into rethinking something.

I’d like to give stories. I love stories, I’ll read just about anything with a plot, and I would love to put more stories into the world. This ties into wanting people to think—the biggest story on my plate right now is about how one man deals with his Christian identity while in a relationship with another man, and a project that’s been on my mind for years is the story of a guy who falls in love with someone online, with no clue as to their gender. I’m not writing them as GLBT stories—they’re just stories about people. In one, the main characters happen to be bi or gay; in the other, while the main character does struggle with what it means for his orientation that he’s fallen for someone who he can’t identify as female, it’s more about his struggle than it is about the possibility of a same-sex relationship. If I do it right, I could really make people think about the messages behind my stories, and even see things from a new perspective.

And both of those things are interesting to me—taking old concepts and turning them on their heads; creating new concepts; developing characters and plots that people can identify with even as they’re scratching their head and saying “Huh, what would I do in that situation?”

There is another answer to the question, if looked at from a different perspective: I want to have kids, and have them also be my gift to life and the world. I want to raise them with good hearts and good values, so there are more good people in the world. Doing so will be interesting, challenging, and, from what I hear, the most fun and awesome experience in the universe. And it will also be work, which I think qualifies it for that question.

To sum up this whole thing: What do I want to give to life? The things I love in it. Originality, good stories, and good people. Easy.

Next question.