I'm back! And alive. And less weird. Well....no, scratch that last part.
I'm currently in my home store (933 will ALWAYS BE MY HOME STORE), just settling in for a few hours of heavy duty thinking. I have a lot of it to do: stories, marketing, moving, wedding, LIFE. I'm armed with a notebook, a journal, the laptop, my printed copy of Found, and a tumbler filled with a Grande Vanilla Chai Half The Chai No Water No Foam Scoop of Protein.
I WORK AT STARBUCKS.
(No, really, the scoop of protein makes it creamy and a little eggnog-tasting-ish. It's delicous.)
Plus two of my faaaaaavorite people are working, so yay for that :D
Work is the same, except for when it's not. We have three new people--not one, not two, but THREE--and they're all reading or training or barring or ringing at different times, sometimes all at the same time on the same day. Oh, and there's two new shifts going through their training, and one not-as-new-but-still-new-ish shift being trained on closing instead of opening...and yesterday had ALL OF THEM DOING IT AT ONCE. Six people training in different things at more or less the same time...oy.
There's not a whole lot else going on...most of the excitement in my life is centered around either other people, with life throwing them opportunities and challenges, or A Song of Ice and Fire, which has swallowed me whole and will get stuck in my head for hours just as well as any song.
Now, off to the LISTS and STUFF, but I'll leave you with some scribblings I just found in my notebook, something that will make a certain parent pretty happy...
If I
Maybe if I broke the inky silence
with a dull light
of humanity
night wouldn't feel so closed
Maybe if I lived
instead of existing
plodding through
someone would hear the footsteps
Maybe i I prayed
in the moment
and not years later
I would see through the distance
Maybe if I loved
that spark of humanity
with a little more of myself,
not yours,
it would light
Maybe
if I stopped
it would finally happen
Prayer Stones
Burning embers
embedded in the ceiling
pressed by my hand
scarring my faith into my fingers
so every meal
every ritual
every turn
bears your weight
embossed in my palm
your proof, your belonging
your words in my tongue
collecting together
like marbles,
leaves,
raindrops,
burning stones
embedded in the ceiling
800 Miles
The tunnel of nighttime
carved out by my headlights
stretches for miles
hours
days
you are farther away
than 800 miles
you are a heartbreak away
a broken promise away
a drastic decision
I carry the weight
of that distance
slumping my shoulders
every step
is one million too short
every day
is not enough
closer
I wish you were closer
the tunnel
of my headlights
the days ahead to you
just stretches on
and on
and on
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
O Blessed Sunshine!
Today I got up early, ran around South Bend getting dirty and taking pictures in the gorgeous weather, spent some time at 933 trying to write and mostly failing to even get as far as trying, did errands and grocery shopping and two loads of laundry, and did some wedding organizing (i.e. finally gave in to my spreadsheet addiction) while watching Glee.
Tomorrow is back to the grind. And not just the regular old grind! New Boss Lady texted me this morning to ask if I could come in early, so I'm working eight and a half hours tomorrow! JOY!
However, she also mentioned a possibility of working at 933 on Sunday, which would completely make up for it. *crosses fingers*
Off to bed soonish, I'm hoping to make the getting-up-early-to-art thing a habit. Or should I sleep in to gather energy for the freaking long day? Hmmm...
Tomorrow is back to the grind. And not just the regular old grind! New Boss Lady texted me this morning to ask if I could come in early, so I'm working eight and a half hours tomorrow! JOY!
However, she also mentioned a possibility of working at 933 on Sunday, which would completely make up for it. *crosses fingers*
Off to bed soonish, I'm hoping to make the getting-up-early-to-art thing a habit. Or should I sleep in to gather energy for the freaking long day? Hmmm...
Friday, April 1, 2011
Days Off Aren't Always Exciting.
Yesterday:
[o] Got up
[o] Drove Sameh to work since she lost her car keys
[o] Spent 3 1/2 hours at 933, me writing and Ryan playing Pokemon
[o] Got dinner
[o] Watched The Rainmaker (my first viewing, really enjoyed it!)
[o] Watched random TV with roommates
[o] Bed
Today:
[o] Got up
[o] Still eating breakfast and getting ready
[o] Doing the paycheck dance: Pick it up at Target, go deposit it at bank, go back to Target to buy groceries
[o] Do some cleaning at home
[o] Go to Aurelie's house to hang out
This weekend is two eight hour shifts, one pre-closing and one closing. Gonna be a long one.
Still feeling a little out of it due to some very weird and creepy dreams last night. Also have the (hopefully) last tendrils of yesterday's bad headache holding on. Meh.
Hopefully going out in the sunshine will help :)
[o] Got up
[o] Drove Sameh to work since she lost her car keys
[o] Spent 3 1/2 hours at 933, me writing and Ryan playing Pokemon
[o] Got dinner
[o] Watched The Rainmaker (my first viewing, really enjoyed it!)
[o] Watched random TV with roommates
[o] Bed
Today:
[o] Got up
[o] Still eating breakfast and getting ready
[o] Doing the paycheck dance: Pick it up at Target, go deposit it at bank, go back to Target to buy groceries
[o] Do some cleaning at home
[o] Go to Aurelie's house to hang out
This weekend is two eight hour shifts, one pre-closing and one closing. Gonna be a long one.
Still feeling a little out of it due to some very weird and creepy dreams last night. Also have the (hopefully) last tendrils of yesterday's bad headache holding on. Meh.
Hopefully going out in the sunshine will help :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Almost Did It Again!
It wasn't until almost noon that I realized I hadn't written a post for Saturday. And now, it's past 2:30 in the morning, about to go to bed, and I realize I almost did it again. G'ah!
Obviously, my schedule is slewing toward the late end of things again. However, as opposed to my reaction when it started happening last fall at 933, I'm almost okay with it. It's complicated, but I think it boils down to finally being okay with how I spend my time. I don't have to jump out of bed at 9 every morning and get everything done before noon or I'm a complete loser (and seriously, looking at my parents, where did that come from?).
I didn't have work until 3 today. I slept until 10:30, lazed in bed until 11, then spent the next half an hour getting ready, only to spend my last 15 minutes before leaving out on the balcony, on my knees taking pictures of the distressed wood in the bright sunshine.
I was at 933 from around 12:30 to around 2:30. The first half an hour was spent catching up with AD on her meal break, then I wrote for the rest of the time. Actually, it was partly writing and partly fixing and planning and thinking, with some socialization mixed in as well.
I spent my free time before clocking in at 3 sleeping, prepping, arting, and socializing. A year ago, or even a few months ago, I would have been guilting the crap out of myself for "not getting anything done." Hell, even if I did nothing but go in and work for eight hours, then come home and eat and crash, I would chastise myself for not getting some dishes done, not getting up earlier to do laundry, some bullsh like that.
It does help that I usually don't sleep later than 11, which means most days I have at least an hour to do something. That something usually ends up being dishes or poking at art one way or another, and that's okay. My god, that's liberating!
Of course, this line of thinking is thoroughly helped by the fact that I just finished watching The Devil Wears Prada, in which the heroine (Anne Hathaway) battles between her job and her integrity--did I mention she wants to be a writer, and starts the movie with zero interest in clothes or fashion? Ye-ah.
Anyway. Fantastic movie. Meryl Streep is beyond words. Life is stresful but more or less good. I'm still alive.
...yeah. :)
Obviously, my schedule is slewing toward the late end of things again. However, as opposed to my reaction when it started happening last fall at 933, I'm almost okay with it. It's complicated, but I think it boils down to finally being okay with how I spend my time. I don't have to jump out of bed at 9 every morning and get everything done before noon or I'm a complete loser (and seriously, looking at my parents, where did that come from?).
I didn't have work until 3 today. I slept until 10:30, lazed in bed until 11, then spent the next half an hour getting ready, only to spend my last 15 minutes before leaving out on the balcony, on my knees taking pictures of the distressed wood in the bright sunshine.
I was at 933 from around 12:30 to around 2:30. The first half an hour was spent catching up with AD on her meal break, then I wrote for the rest of the time. Actually, it was partly writing and partly fixing and planning and thinking, with some socialization mixed in as well.
I spent my free time before clocking in at 3 sleeping, prepping, arting, and socializing. A year ago, or even a few months ago, I would have been guilting the crap out of myself for "not getting anything done." Hell, even if I did nothing but go in and work for eight hours, then come home and eat and crash, I would chastise myself for not getting some dishes done, not getting up earlier to do laundry, some bullsh like that.
It does help that I usually don't sleep later than 11, which means most days I have at least an hour to do something. That something usually ends up being dishes or poking at art one way or another, and that's okay. My god, that's liberating!
Of course, this line of thinking is thoroughly helped by the fact that I just finished watching The Devil Wears Prada, in which the heroine (Anne Hathaway) battles between her job and her integrity--did I mention she wants to be a writer, and starts the movie with zero interest in clothes or fashion? Ye-ah.
Anyway. Fantastic movie. Meryl Streep is beyond words. Life is stresful but more or less good. I'm still alive.
...yeah. :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
Days Off, With Myself and With Others.
Yesterday's day off consisted of sitting at 933 for several hours trying desperately to piece my story together after getting advice from Ryan on character psychology. However, I couldn't remember most of said advice, so basically it was several hours of socializing and beating my head against the keyboard.
Then I went home, Ryan and I had dinner, he and I watched Get Shorty, and the household watched Megamind when everyone was home. Both were good, the second was definitely the most entertaining.
Today's day off was grocery shopping with Ryan, watching Project Runawy re-runs with Ryan and BJ, then BJ and Aurelie and I going to 933 and hanging out with LeAnna, her boyfriend Brandon, with occasional socializing from E, J, and BS, who were all working at the time, and a quick surprise stop-in from Kitty and Alex. Lots of laughing, lots of fun.
E may come over later to hang out, but we'll see. Until then, I'm not sure what I'm doing besides eating dinner and maybe poking at the book some more, now that I've re-questioned Ryan on the psych advice and have more of a game plan.
Tomorrow I work two more hours to help New Boss Lady cover our currently manager-less store, meaning I lost some writing time but gained some money. Yay!
Sunday, though...Sunday is writing time!
Then next week it all begins again and I lose my mind. Whee!
Then I went home, Ryan and I had dinner, he and I watched Get Shorty, and the household watched Megamind when everyone was home. Both were good, the second was definitely the most entertaining.
Today's day off was grocery shopping with Ryan, watching Project Runawy re-runs with Ryan and BJ, then BJ and Aurelie and I going to 933 and hanging out with LeAnna, her boyfriend Brandon, with occasional socializing from E, J, and BS, who were all working at the time, and a quick surprise stop-in from Kitty and Alex. Lots of laughing, lots of fun.
E may come over later to hang out, but we'll see. Until then, I'm not sure what I'm doing besides eating dinner and maybe poking at the book some more, now that I've re-questioned Ryan on the psych advice and have more of a game plan.
Tomorrow I work two more hours to help New Boss Lady cover our currently manager-less store, meaning I lost some writing time but gained some money. Yay!
Sunday, though...Sunday is writing time!
Then next week it all begins again and I lose my mind. Whee!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Climbing Back Up...
Another good day.
Didn't get enough sleep despite sleeping until 11:30, but that's okay. Took some pictures before heading out, since the sun was obliging.
Had just over two hours of writing time before work, and managed to get a good amount of work done. Work was with all cool people, and I ended up being let off early since there would have been four of us there until 9 with everything done at 7. So I got more writing time over at 933! :D
On an odd side note, I left in the wrong direction (the short way home as opposed to the short way to 933), and turned around in the parking lot of an abandoned church I've been eying on the way to work for a while now. There's interesting graffiti, interesting brickwork, nifty-looking banged up and boarded windows and stuff like that...basically, with the right weather, there's a chance this place could be a photographic goldmine.
I know. I'm strange.
I have the same shift tomorrow, with even more awesome people to work with. Yay :)
Didn't get enough sleep despite sleeping until 11:30, but that's okay. Took some pictures before heading out, since the sun was obliging.
Had just over two hours of writing time before work, and managed to get a good amount of work done. Work was with all cool people, and I ended up being let off early since there would have been four of us there until 9 with everything done at 7. So I got more writing time over at 933! :D
On an odd side note, I left in the wrong direction (the short way home as opposed to the short way to 933), and turned around in the parking lot of an abandoned church I've been eying on the way to work for a while now. There's interesting graffiti, interesting brickwork, nifty-looking banged up and boarded windows and stuff like that...basically, with the right weather, there's a chance this place could be a photographic goldmine.
I know. I'm strange.
I have the same shift tomorrow, with even more awesome people to work with. Yay :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Working And Sleeping And Writing, Oh My!
So...very...tired.
Yesterday and today had Ryan on opening shift at Target. That means getting up at 7. We're not really early-to-bed birds at all, and I always woke up when he did even thought I didn't have to, so sleep has been rough for both of us the past two nights, for Ryan moreso than me.
Today was my mid-shift this week, which I traded for. I regretted it most of the day. Getting up at 10 after falling back asleep around 8 was painful, and it was...stupidly busy all day. Plus shifts not paying attention to breaks...argh. Just a stupid day all around.
Aurelie and I were going to hang out, but decided that today sucked too much for both of us, and we hated the world too much to be sociable. I still hiked it over to 933 when I got off at 5:30, as writing isn't a social exercise, and found Aurelie still there (she got off at 5), hanging out with BJ and Sameh. We both "tsked" at each other jokingly, we all hung out for a little bit, and then went our separate ways. BJ and Sameh continued on their day-off shopping excursion, Aurelie went off to the Post Office and a night at home, and I settled in for some writing.
And I actually got some done! I was distracted by the interwebs more than I'd like to admit to, but I still managed to pull out...I dunno, some number. All I know is that the current total is 8,738, which isn't too shabby.
This writing streak has been...fantastic. After beating my head against Found for November and most of January, then kick-starting On The/Running only to resort to head-beating by mid-February, this seemingly random spurt of writing with almost no effort is refreshing and wonderful. I'm not sure what's going on--whether the muse decided I needed a break from frustration or I figured out how to get out of my own way or whatever--but I know that I don't care. I'm going to keep milking this while it's goin'!
Something else I find baffling: I'm beginning to like late shifts. I know: bwah?, but really. The night people are slightly less...I don't know...chipper? than the morning people (who are lovely but make me feel like I'm an utter grump by comparison). Plus I'm better at writing before work than after (today was a possible fluke), and, well, I like sleep.
There are other differences, but they're hard to put a finger on. And maybe I'll change my mind. We'll see. For now, seeing that it's currently working to my advantage AND next week's schedule is all pre-closing, I'll just run with it.
Where was I...oh yes. After wrapping up at 933, I came home, where I've been catching up and inputting financials and whatnot. The roommates finally returned a little while ago, and they brought home:
[o] a Lady Gaga poster to add to the collection above the living room couch
[o] the newest Pokemon DS game for Ryan
[o] and a Teavana tea tumbler for me
We have the nicest roommates. Ever. :D
Now, I'm off to either read some more, write some more, or watch some more Weeds with Ryan. Tomorrow is a closing shift for me and a day off for Ryan, so the only guarantee is no-alarm sleeping. BLISS.
Yesterday and today had Ryan on opening shift at Target. That means getting up at 7. We're not really early-to-bed birds at all, and I always woke up when he did even thought I didn't have to, so sleep has been rough for both of us the past two nights, for Ryan moreso than me.
Today was my mid-shift this week, which I traded for. I regretted it most of the day. Getting up at 10 after falling back asleep around 8 was painful, and it was...stupidly busy all day. Plus shifts not paying attention to breaks...argh. Just a stupid day all around.
Aurelie and I were going to hang out, but decided that today sucked too much for both of us, and we hated the world too much to be sociable. I still hiked it over to 933 when I got off at 5:30, as writing isn't a social exercise, and found Aurelie still there (she got off at 5), hanging out with BJ and Sameh. We both "tsked" at each other jokingly, we all hung out for a little bit, and then went our separate ways. BJ and Sameh continued on their day-off shopping excursion, Aurelie went off to the Post Office and a night at home, and I settled in for some writing.
And I actually got some done! I was distracted by the interwebs more than I'd like to admit to, but I still managed to pull out...I dunno, some number. All I know is that the current total is 8,738, which isn't too shabby.
This writing streak has been...fantastic. After beating my head against Found for November and most of January, then kick-starting On The/Running only to resort to head-beating by mid-February, this seemingly random spurt of writing with almost no effort is refreshing and wonderful. I'm not sure what's going on--whether the muse decided I needed a break from frustration or I figured out how to get out of my own way or whatever--but I know that I don't care. I'm going to keep milking this while it's goin'!
Something else I find baffling: I'm beginning to like late shifts. I know: bwah?, but really. The night people are slightly less...I don't know...chipper? than the morning people (who are lovely but make me feel like I'm an utter grump by comparison). Plus I'm better at writing before work than after (today was a possible fluke), and, well, I like sleep.
There are other differences, but they're hard to put a finger on. And maybe I'll change my mind. We'll see. For now, seeing that it's currently working to my advantage AND next week's schedule is all pre-closing, I'll just run with it.
Where was I...oh yes. After wrapping up at 933, I came home, where I've been catching up and inputting financials and whatnot. The roommates finally returned a little while ago, and they brought home:
[o] a Lady Gaga poster to add to the collection above the living room couch
[o] the newest Pokemon DS game for Ryan
[o] and a Teavana tea tumbler for me
We have the nicest roommates. Ever. :D
Now, I'm off to either read some more, write some more, or watch some more Weeds with Ryan. Tomorrow is a closing shift for me and a day off for Ryan, so the only guarantee is no-alarm sleeping. BLISS.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I've Needed One Recently!
Today was a pretty good day. :)
First off, my friends Derek and Brittany had their baby girl, Hazel, at 12:34 this morning. :D
Second, I had a chance to write at 933, where I visited a bit with Aurelie and BJ, and got 800 words done. Go me!
Third, it was super busy when I got to work, and they immediately put me on bar, which is where I thrive when it's busy. So much fun!
Fourth, I pre-closed with E and Shift L, two very fun people to work with :)
And now, I'm home and fed, Ryan and I are about to watch the finale to season three of Weeds and then sleep! Good night!
First off, my friends Derek and Brittany had their baby girl, Hazel, at 12:34 this morning. :D
Second, I had a chance to write at 933, where I visited a bit with Aurelie and BJ, and got 800 words done. Go me!
Third, it was super busy when I got to work, and they immediately put me on bar, which is where I thrive when it's busy. So much fun!
Fourth, I pre-closed with E and Shift L, two very fun people to work with :)
And now, I'm home and fed, Ryan and I are about to watch the finale to season three of Weeds and then sleep! Good night!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Me Oh My.
Apologies for lack of update yesterday. I got kinda tired and cranky last night, and no one should have to listen to (or read) me when I'm like that.
Pity Ryan.
I'm actually kinda cranky at the moment, albeit for different reasons, and I'm less angsty to the point where I'd write about it. Suffice to say: argh.
On the Good News front: I WROTE TODAY. For the first time in...a while. Just shy of 1,400 words in just over an hour. Over 6K words now! Whee!
I also got to work at 933 today, which was...good and bad. I've basically decided that I shouldn't cover over there again for a month or so, it's just...hard being there right now. In the metaphor Ryan created where this whole transfer thing is like a break up, I'm attempting to hang out with an ex and be cool about it, and I just can't do it yet.
Tomorrow and Sunday are the same schedule as today (3:30 to 9:30, although at Ireland. I definitely want to do what I did today, going somewhere before work and getting some writing done. What I can't decide is where to go. Aurelie wants me to go to the Goshen Starbucks, since she has the day off and lives there and we could hang a bit, but it's 40 minutes away down the bypass, so...*shrug* 933 is still a possibility, as writing there wasn't as painful as working there.
Also on the yay side of things: I made meringues sometime last week, but no one in the house has been eating them, so I brought them in to 933 today. They were...kinda scarfed. :D
If you're wondering why they're still good a week later: we have a time capsule! Kittie made BJ and Ryan a birthday cheesecake in November, presented in a glass cake dish that was also a present. When the cheesecake was done, it got cleaned and stood on the dining room table. One day, someone was neatening, there was a single apple on the table, and the apple was put inside the dish. Where it stayed for quite a long time...and never rotted. Or withered. Or anything.
The dish has since been used to house just about every baked thing in the house, because damn does it keep stuff fresh! It's magic!
...yeah, I've gone a bit nutty from hunger and tireness. I think it's time to have some of the pizza that just left the oven, then nom the cake pop I brought home, get ready for bed, and read for the next few hours.
...yeah...that sounds nice...:)
Pity Ryan.
I'm actually kinda cranky at the moment, albeit for different reasons, and I'm less angsty to the point where I'd write about it. Suffice to say: argh.
On the Good News front: I WROTE TODAY. For the first time in...a while. Just shy of 1,400 words in just over an hour. Over 6K words now! Whee!
I also got to work at 933 today, which was...good and bad. I've basically decided that I shouldn't cover over there again for a month or so, it's just...hard being there right now. In the metaphor Ryan created where this whole transfer thing is like a break up, I'm attempting to hang out with an ex and be cool about it, and I just can't do it yet.
Tomorrow and Sunday are the same schedule as today (3:30 to 9:30, although at Ireland. I definitely want to do what I did today, going somewhere before work and getting some writing done. What I can't decide is where to go. Aurelie wants me to go to the Goshen Starbucks, since she has the day off and lives there and we could hang a bit, but it's 40 minutes away down the bypass, so...*shrug* 933 is still a possibility, as writing there wasn't as painful as working there.
Also on the yay side of things: I made meringues sometime last week, but no one in the house has been eating them, so I brought them in to 933 today. They were...kinda scarfed. :D
If you're wondering why they're still good a week later: we have a time capsule! Kittie made BJ and Ryan a birthday cheesecake in November, presented in a glass cake dish that was also a present. When the cheesecake was done, it got cleaned and stood on the dining room table. One day, someone was neatening, there was a single apple on the table, and the apple was put inside the dish. Where it stayed for quite a long time...and never rotted. Or withered. Or anything.
The dish has since been used to house just about every baked thing in the house, because damn does it keep stuff fresh! It's magic!
...yeah, I've gone a bit nutty from hunger and tireness. I think it's time to have some of the pizza that just left the oven, then nom the cake pop I brought home, get ready for bed, and read for the next few hours.
...yeah...that sounds nice...:)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Second Job Frustration.
Day off! First of two! Okay!
So far I've...gotten up.
Okay, so a little more than that. I found the number to call at the clinic we went to last month so I can find out why I didn't get a bill when our insurance says I owe them money. I even called the number!...they weren't there. I'll try again later.
I am also currently listening to YouTube videos of an indie group called Bishop Allen, suggested to me by Katie Petunia. So far my favorite song is "Click Click Click Click," about stepping out of the rain and ending up in a picture of someone else's wedding.
Tried to get up and have Writing Time, but ended up choosing sleep instead. >.< Dorita gave me great writing advice, and she reminded me of Stephen King's advice in On Writing (one of my favorite books ever), I'm just...having a hard time following it so far.
For one thing, I don't really have a given "space" for writing. My desk is almost guaranteed to fail unless I'm in a very concentrated mood, what with the to do items on one side and the photography props on the other (which reminds me, I have to take some more picture today!). There is a half-table in the dining room, but it faces a wall with ugly wallpaper, and I feel like I'm stuck in a corner. I liked my set-up at the coffee table the other day, but that's also dangerous--the TV is right there. All these spaces are also easily "invaded" by boyfriend or roommates, through no fault of theirs, so...yeah.
Going to one of the Starbucks in the area might help, except that requires money, which is tight enough right now that I can't "let" myself spend money on coffee so I can spend a couple of hours at a table, not to mention the paranoia of someone grabbing my laptop when I'm in the bathroom or distracted or something.
The Setting Hours advice is already failing, as I keep hitting snooze or changing the alarm or getting up and doing something else. Doesn't help that my sleep schedule has been skewing back toward the wee hours of the morning, which was already a problem before the week of pre-closing and not getting home until 10 started >.< I keep setting the alarm for 10 or 10:30, but the mindset when it goes off is "It's my day off/I get to sleep in late this week when I usually don't get to, I can't waste this opportunity, sleep is very important...zzzz." ARGH.
Getting Ready kind of requires the Setting Hours part, and a Writing Space to go to...argh.
I'm not giving up, and I'm trying very hard to not say "Well, it's already past noon, I guess today is a waste." I'm just frustrated. Ergh.
I think I'll get dressed, eat something, take some pictures, make some cupcakes, then get some help from Ryan when he gets home. He's very good at being authoritatively supportive, he'll probably glue me to a chair and say I can't have any cupcakes until I write something, then refuse to speak to me until I'm productive. Hopefully it works.
Oy...
So far I've...gotten up.
Okay, so a little more than that. I found the number to call at the clinic we went to last month so I can find out why I didn't get a bill when our insurance says I owe them money. I even called the number!...they weren't there. I'll try again later.
I am also currently listening to YouTube videos of an indie group called Bishop Allen, suggested to me by Katie Petunia. So far my favorite song is "Click Click Click Click," about stepping out of the rain and ending up in a picture of someone else's wedding.
Tried to get up and have Writing Time, but ended up choosing sleep instead. >.< Dorita gave me great writing advice, and she reminded me of Stephen King's advice in On Writing (one of my favorite books ever), I'm just...having a hard time following it so far.
For one thing, I don't really have a given "space" for writing. My desk is almost guaranteed to fail unless I'm in a very concentrated mood, what with the to do items on one side and the photography props on the other (which reminds me, I have to take some more picture today!). There is a half-table in the dining room, but it faces a wall with ugly wallpaper, and I feel like I'm stuck in a corner. I liked my set-up at the coffee table the other day, but that's also dangerous--the TV is right there. All these spaces are also easily "invaded" by boyfriend or roommates, through no fault of theirs, so...yeah.
Going to one of the Starbucks in the area might help, except that requires money, which is tight enough right now that I can't "let" myself spend money on coffee so I can spend a couple of hours at a table, not to mention the paranoia of someone grabbing my laptop when I'm in the bathroom or distracted or something.
The Setting Hours advice is already failing, as I keep hitting snooze or changing the alarm or getting up and doing something else. Doesn't help that my sleep schedule has been skewing back toward the wee hours of the morning, which was already a problem before the week of pre-closing and not getting home until 10 started >.< I keep setting the alarm for 10 or 10:30, but the mindset when it goes off is "It's my day off/I get to sleep in late this week when I usually don't get to, I can't waste this opportunity, sleep is very important...zzzz." ARGH.
Getting Ready kind of requires the Setting Hours part, and a Writing Space to go to...argh.
I'm not giving up, and I'm trying very hard to not say "Well, it's already past noon, I guess today is a waste." I'm just frustrated. Ergh.
I think I'll get dressed, eat something, take some pictures, make some cupcakes, then get some help from Ryan when he gets home. He's very good at being authoritatively supportive, he'll probably glue me to a chair and say I can't have any cupcakes until I write something, then refuse to speak to me until I'm productive. Hopefully it works.
Oy...
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Taking Suggestions On Catchy Catch Phrases That...Uh...Catch.
Today was the first day of Treating Writing Like Work, or Writing Like It's My Job...Cuz It Is. I'm working on catchier phrases, I promise.
I had to get up around 11 to do laundry (got soy on my work pants, blech), and I didn't have to leave until a little before 2, so I spent the time between then (when I wasn't lugging clothes or eating breakfast) sitting on the couch, laptop on our Joy of Cooking on the coffee table, perched over the keyboard, beating at On The/Running.
I keep using aggressive verbs like hacking and beating and stabbing with this novel because it is being very difficult. I know the story, I know the characters, I know the climax, I know everything except how to put it on the page so it's actually enjoyable. Every time I try to show, I end up telling, and it's driving me nuts!
This is why (a) I have been avoiding working on this, and (b) why I need to work on this, why I need to start treating it like a second job and COMMIT. I've played with my calendar for this week, setting aside blocks of time that will be dedicated to Writing, whether it's here at home or at my Starbucks. I've already warned Ryan that (1) I'll be trying to get up earlier, which means going to bed earlier, (2) I might be missing a bit more in the morningtimes, and (3) I'm going to be doing a lot of whining and cranking and "Ryan this is harrrrrrrd" and he CAN'T LET ME QUIT, I have to just beat my head against it until it starts working, and if it never does, well then I guess I'm not a writer then, am I?
...did I mention I'm tired?
I came home, I had pasta with olive oil and cheese, and I'm about to take a shower, then I'm getting into bed and watching something on Netflix and getting a ton of sleep.
Thank you, good night!
(Side note: Ryan gave me a hug when I got home, and said "I'm starting to associate the smell of coffee with you and it's making me like coffee more." :D)
I had to get up around 11 to do laundry (got soy on my work pants, blech), and I didn't have to leave until a little before 2, so I spent the time between then (when I wasn't lugging clothes or eating breakfast) sitting on the couch, laptop on our Joy of Cooking on the coffee table, perched over the keyboard, beating at On The/Running.
I keep using aggressive verbs like hacking and beating and stabbing with this novel because it is being very difficult. I know the story, I know the characters, I know the climax, I know everything except how to put it on the page so it's actually enjoyable. Every time I try to show, I end up telling, and it's driving me nuts!
This is why (a) I have been avoiding working on this, and (b) why I need to work on this, why I need to start treating it like a second job and COMMIT. I've played with my calendar for this week, setting aside blocks of time that will be dedicated to Writing, whether it's here at home or at my Starbucks. I've already warned Ryan that (1) I'll be trying to get up earlier, which means going to bed earlier, (2) I might be missing a bit more in the morningtimes, and (3) I'm going to be doing a lot of whining and cranking and "Ryan this is harrrrrrrd" and he CAN'T LET ME QUIT, I have to just beat my head against it until it starts working, and if it never does, well then I guess I'm not a writer then, am I?
...did I mention I'm tired?
I came home, I had pasta with olive oil and cheese, and I'm about to take a shower, then I'm getting into bed and watching something on Netflix and getting a ton of sleep.
Thank you, good night!
(Side note: Ryan gave me a hug when I got home, and said "I'm starting to associate the smell of coffee with you and it's making me like coffee more." :D)
Friday, February 4, 2011
My Mini-Vacation, Day 3.
Today I haaaaaaave
[o] picked up my prescription
[o] picked up Ryan's paycheck
[o] finished the week's grocery shopping
[o] went to the bank
[o] shipped a package
[o] finished writing and addressing thank you notes
[o] washed, dried, folded, sorted, and put away four loads of laundry
[o] rearranged the bedroom closet
[o] cleared out a lot of hoarded clutter
[o] broke down a gazillion cardboard boxes
[o] changed the bedding
[o] made dinner for Ryan and myself
[o] moved my favorite art photographs to my Mac so I could load them onto my iPad
I'm in the living room now, just finished that last task and will be hacking at an outline for On The/Running while, as usual for the past two days, Newsradio plays in the background. It might be hard to concentrate...I'm very tired, I had a big dinner to make up for missing lunch, and I might have had a delicious alcoholic beverage with that dinner....zzzzz.....
Tomorrow will hopefully be the social day of my little vacation, what with a couple of co-workers either visiting or wanting to hang out :) Either that or I'll write, or finally drag Ryan to the local pastry & coffee place, OR bang my head against my book some more.
....anyway! Right. Waking time. Writing time. Outlining time. Wheeeeee.....zzzzzz....
[o] picked up my prescription
[o] picked up Ryan's paycheck
[o] finished the week's grocery shopping
[o] went to the bank
[o] shipped a package
[o] finished writing and addressing thank you notes
[o] washed, dried, folded, sorted, and put away four loads of laundry
[o] rearranged the bedroom closet
[o] cleared out a lot of hoarded clutter
[o] broke down a gazillion cardboard boxes
[o] changed the bedding
[o] made dinner for Ryan and myself
[o] moved my favorite art photographs to my Mac so I could load them onto my iPad
I'm in the living room now, just finished that last task and will be hacking at an outline for On The/Running while, as usual for the past two days, Newsradio plays in the background. It might be hard to concentrate...I'm very tired, I had a big dinner to make up for missing lunch, and I might have had a delicious alcoholic beverage with that dinner....zzzzz.....
Tomorrow will hopefully be the social day of my little vacation, what with a couple of co-workers either visiting or wanting to hang out :) Either that or I'll write, or finally drag Ryan to the local pastry & coffee place, OR bang my head against my book some more.
....anyway! Right. Waking time. Writing time. Outlining time. Wheeeeee.....zzzzzz....
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Normal Day (Almost).
Merry Christmas! :D
Now that that's out of the way...today was a normal day (almost). I got up and went to work (at a different location), I made a lot of drinks and served a lot of people and chatted with my co-workers (all but one of which I have never worked with before), and then I went home and spent time and had dinner with my boyfriend (after we opened wonderful presents from our wonderful families, and each other).
Yup. Normal. :D
Pictures were taken of all the presents, and they will be posted, but not tonight. I have been exhausted just about the entire time I've been home, and Ryan has spent most of the evening with a horrible migraine, which has thankfully finally retreated. I'll post the pictures as soon as they're uploaded, and I'll talk more of Christmas tomorrow. Tonight, I will leave you with my Photo Of The Day.
I spent a lot of time thinking today, and at one point in the evening I turned to Ryan and said, mostly randomly, "I think I want to be a writer."
"Cool," he said. "I was thinking the same thing."
"I'm going to go print out my novel for editing right now."
"Go!"
*fistbump*
Half an hour later: ta da!
(Yes, half an hour. Printer had to wake up after not being awake for two months, had to replace the black ink, and had to refill the paper several times seeing as it is 102 pages.)
That's what I'm starting on tomorrow. Woohoo!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good sleep!
Now that that's out of the way...today was a normal day (almost). I got up and went to work (at a different location), I made a lot of drinks and served a lot of people and chatted with my co-workers (all but one of which I have never worked with before), and then I went home and spent time and had dinner with my boyfriend (after we opened wonderful presents from our wonderful families, and each other).
Yup. Normal. :D
Pictures were taken of all the presents, and they will be posted, but not tonight. I have been exhausted just about the entire time I've been home, and Ryan has spent most of the evening with a horrible migraine, which has thankfully finally retreated. I'll post the pictures as soon as they're uploaded, and I'll talk more of Christmas tomorrow. Tonight, I will leave you with my Photo Of The Day.
I spent a lot of time thinking today, and at one point in the evening I turned to Ryan and said, mostly randomly, "I think I want to be a writer."
"Cool," he said. "I was thinking the same thing."
"I'm going to go print out my novel for editing right now."
"Go!"
*fistbump*
Half an hour later: ta da!
(Yes, half an hour. Printer had to wake up after not being awake for two months, had to replace the black ink, and had to refill the paper several times seeing as it is 102 pages.)
That's what I'm starting on tomorrow. Woohoo!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good sleep!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Why Did I Do It? WHY?!
Here's the list again:
[x] put check in the mail
[x] pick up packages from post office (hopefully avoid surly lady who was rude to me last time >.<)
[o] buy printer paper and ink
[o] print off at least one copy of Found and see if I'm up for editing it
[/] balance all the money records, which includes moving the messy pile of receipts and things from the right side of my desk to the folders they belong in
[o] discuss the last few presents with Ryan once he arrives home
[o] call Dad while rest of house is raiding, because it has been TOO DAMNED LONG since we had a successful phone call
[o] attempt to wrap some of the presents we already have...may need Ryan's help for this >.<
The first one was easy, of course--open mail box, place envelope inside, move "Outgoing" post-it from inside to outside of box, close and lock it. The second was...harder. The third didn't happen for much the same reason the second was difficult.
I'm a dumb today. I thought I could just run out to the Post Office and Best Buy on the first day of the last weekend before Christmas.
The Post Office. And Best Buy.
WHERE WAS MY BRAIN.
I hit the PO right around noon-thirty, and left without even parking...because there was nowhere to park. The tiny station nearest my house, where our packages live if we miss them being delivered, has maybe fifteen spots. And every single one was taken, with a line of cars waiting for the next available one. I missed my chance for one, circled around to maybe get back in line, and realized there was no way anyone was going to let me in.
So I left to go to Best Buy. I figured it might not be so bad, I wasn't shopping for fancy items like phones or iPods or games or even movies, I just wanted some paper and ink.
The place was packed, and the line...just thinking about it now makes me shudder. I walked in, looked at the line, turned and walked out. Just...it wasn't going to happen.
By this time it was past one, so I tried the Post Office again and was elated to see that it was back to normal...well, more or less, it is still the holiday season. But there was a spot--more than one, even!--and the line wasn't out the door, so I'm glad for that. I'm also glad that, although Madame Postal Worker was indeed working, I was lucky enough to not have to go to her line to pick up my packages. I can't promise that I would have been able to not remind her of our last interaction and point out that I in no way deserved the attitude she gave me and rant rant rant okay I'm done.
Two packages! From mothers! Woo!
I opened the one from mine since I knew Mom had also stuck in a book I had asked her to send along. Three prettily wrapped presents now sit on a side table, waiting patiently. I can't wait! Eee!
Anyway...because the paper and printer ink were not procured today, I won't be printing or pondering my...novel. If the traffic remains as bad as it was today (I didn't even mention the driving, did I? That's because the entire entry would be nothing but cuss words and all-caps and there might be a broken keyboard at the end of it), the whole thing may have to wait until after the holidays. And, if that's the case, I may just have to start on the next story, because it is ITCHING to get out of my fingers at this point.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I still have to put my papers in order, and then I may spend the rest of the afternoon until Ryan gets home either starting on the new story or playing WoW or reading or...oh, I'll find something.
[x] put check in the mail
[x] pick up packages from post office (hopefully avoid surly lady who was rude to me last time >.<)
[o] buy printer paper and ink
[o] print off at least one copy of Found and see if I'm up for editing it
[/] balance all the money records, which includes moving the messy pile of receipts and things from the right side of my desk to the folders they belong in
[o] discuss the last few presents with Ryan once he arrives home
[o] call Dad while rest of house is raiding, because it has been TOO DAMNED LONG since we had a successful phone call
[o] attempt to wrap some of the presents we already have...may need Ryan's help for this >.<
The first one was easy, of course--open mail box, place envelope inside, move "Outgoing" post-it from inside to outside of box, close and lock it. The second was...harder. The third didn't happen for much the same reason the second was difficult.
I'm a dumb today. I thought I could just run out to the Post Office and Best Buy on the first day of the last weekend before Christmas.
The Post Office. And Best Buy.
WHERE WAS MY BRAIN.
I hit the PO right around noon-thirty, and left without even parking...because there was nowhere to park. The tiny station nearest my house, where our packages live if we miss them being delivered, has maybe fifteen spots. And every single one was taken, with a line of cars waiting for the next available one. I missed my chance for one, circled around to maybe get back in line, and realized there was no way anyone was going to let me in.
So I left to go to Best Buy. I figured it might not be so bad, I wasn't shopping for fancy items like phones or iPods or games or even movies, I just wanted some paper and ink.
The place was packed, and the line...just thinking about it now makes me shudder. I walked in, looked at the line, turned and walked out. Just...it wasn't going to happen.
By this time it was past one, so I tried the Post Office again and was elated to see that it was back to normal...well, more or less, it is still the holiday season. But there was a spot--more than one, even!--and the line wasn't out the door, so I'm glad for that. I'm also glad that, although Madame Postal Worker was indeed working, I was lucky enough to not have to go to her line to pick up my packages. I can't promise that I would have been able to not remind her of our last interaction and point out that I in no way deserved the attitude she gave me and rant rant rant okay I'm done.
Two packages! From mothers! Woo!
I opened the one from mine since I knew Mom had also stuck in a book I had asked her to send along. Three prettily wrapped presents now sit on a side table, waiting patiently. I can't wait! Eee!
Anyway...because the paper and printer ink were not procured today, I won't be printing or pondering my...novel. If the traffic remains as bad as it was today (I didn't even mention the driving, did I? That's because the entire entry would be nothing but cuss words and all-caps and there might be a broken keyboard at the end of it), the whole thing may have to wait until after the holidays. And, if that's the case, I may just have to start on the next story, because it is ITCHING to get out of my fingers at this point.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I still have to put my papers in order, and then I may spend the rest of the afternoon until Ryan gets home either starting on the new story or playing WoW or reading or...oh, I'll find something.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Uno, Dos, Tres...
I woke up this morning, and it WASN'T SNOWING. True story.
Topic The First: I'm thinking of starting a photo-a-day thing. I've seen them done before, but a friend here in Indiana talked about starting one recently, and it got the idea actively circulating in my head. I think it'd be a good way for me to keep up with the hobby I love, even as I struggle to find ways to be active with it. It would also be fun, and a new way for those of you playing along at home to see the bits and pieces of my life I don't show here on the blog (either because I forget about them or because they're not "blog worthy").
Here's my problem: I'm neurotic. I get hung up on days to start things. I have this hang-up where I feel I should start Important Things on Important Days. Not just any random day; that would disrespect the Important Thing I'm Starting. On the other hand, days I might choose--say, New Years Day, since that's coming right up--seem too easy, too cliche. So I get stuck in this loop of trying to find The Right Day when it's really Not That Friggin' Important.
Anyway. I'll figure it out soon enough, and I plan on adding a page to my tumblr account just for it. I may try and stick it in the entries over here, too, but we'll see.
Topic The Second: The novel is still untouched, despite being past my No Touchy due date. The problems are three-fold: it's 103 pages, we're low on paper, and we're low on ink. The latter two can be solved by a (painful) trip to the store, but the third makes me wince. My original idea was to print out three copies at the very least: one each for Ryan, BJ, and me. But that means 309 pages! All for the sake of editing! My inner hippie can't take it! Even if I spent the time doing both sides, that's still 155 pieces of paper. Ouch!
I'm tinkering with the idea of having one copy with three ink colors, or two copies with the boys sharing and picking red or blue or whatever, but I'm not fond of the idea. For one thing, it'd take forever for the three of us to get through one copy, or the two of them, especially with schedules. For another, I really want completely fresh perspectives, and seeing someone else's notes could be distracting, or start an argument in the columns, and basically isn't constructive.
Then there's the people who have offered to read it who aren't in handing-off distance, such as my friend Chris or my cousin Sarah. Do I print out more copies for them? Is it fair to send them a 103-page behemoth for them to spend paper and ink on? Oy!
This is the time the ever-talked-about Web 2.0 cloud would be handy, where I just stick it up online somewhere and everyone can pick at it in their own views--I'm sure this exists somewhere. But that requires the lovely editors to stare a computer screen forever, and seeing as one of them is having headaches from old glasses, and another is a nursing mother of two small children, and everyone also has these dang-blasted LIVES and all, it again seems like too much to ask.
Again I say: Oy!
Meanwhile, in a tiny Topic The Third, I'm sketching out the next story idea. It's the one that showed up in the middle of the night the second or third week of November, and I get more excited about it the more I think about it. It's also giving me a minor dilemma: do I let Ryan in the loop, getting all the psychological help I can get (and boy howdy will I need a lot of it), or do I keep him in the dark, so I can have his genuine response to the twist? I'll probably cave and tell him the whole thing, partly to get his help and partly because I HATE not talking to him about...well, anything. Shopping for him is kinda hell.
Speaking of which, I have just enough time to go and finally order his presents before I get ready for work. Have a good day, loyal readers! Any suggestions to any of the problems (day to start new hobbies, ways to share & edit, etc) would be MOST loved and appreciated!
Topic The First: I'm thinking of starting a photo-a-day thing. I've seen them done before, but a friend here in Indiana talked about starting one recently, and it got the idea actively circulating in my head. I think it'd be a good way for me to keep up with the hobby I love, even as I struggle to find ways to be active with it. It would also be fun, and a new way for those of you playing along at home to see the bits and pieces of my life I don't show here on the blog (either because I forget about them or because they're not "blog worthy").
Here's my problem: I'm neurotic. I get hung up on days to start things. I have this hang-up where I feel I should start Important Things on Important Days. Not just any random day; that would disrespect the Important Thing I'm Starting. On the other hand, days I might choose--say, New Years Day, since that's coming right up--seem too easy, too cliche. So I get stuck in this loop of trying to find The Right Day when it's really Not That Friggin' Important.
Anyway. I'll figure it out soon enough, and I plan on adding a page to my tumblr account just for it. I may try and stick it in the entries over here, too, but we'll see.
Topic The Second: The novel is still untouched, despite being past my No Touchy due date. The problems are three-fold: it's 103 pages, we're low on paper, and we're low on ink. The latter two can be solved by a (painful) trip to the store, but the third makes me wince. My original idea was to print out three copies at the very least: one each for Ryan, BJ, and me. But that means 309 pages! All for the sake of editing! My inner hippie can't take it! Even if I spent the time doing both sides, that's still 155 pieces of paper. Ouch!
I'm tinkering with the idea of having one copy with three ink colors, or two copies with the boys sharing and picking red or blue or whatever, but I'm not fond of the idea. For one thing, it'd take forever for the three of us to get through one copy, or the two of them, especially with schedules. For another, I really want completely fresh perspectives, and seeing someone else's notes could be distracting, or start an argument in the columns, and basically isn't constructive.
Then there's the people who have offered to read it who aren't in handing-off distance, such as my friend Chris or my cousin Sarah. Do I print out more copies for them? Is it fair to send them a 103-page behemoth for them to spend paper and ink on? Oy!
This is the time the ever-talked-about Web 2.0 cloud would be handy, where I just stick it up online somewhere and everyone can pick at it in their own views--I'm sure this exists somewhere. But that requires the lovely editors to stare a computer screen forever, and seeing as one of them is having headaches from old glasses, and another is a nursing mother of two small children, and everyone also has these dang-blasted LIVES and all, it again seems like too much to ask.
Again I say: Oy!
Meanwhile, in a tiny Topic The Third, I'm sketching out the next story idea. It's the one that showed up in the middle of the night the second or third week of November, and I get more excited about it the more I think about it. It's also giving me a minor dilemma: do I let Ryan in the loop, getting all the psychological help I can get (and boy howdy will I need a lot of it), or do I keep him in the dark, so I can have his genuine response to the twist? I'll probably cave and tell him the whole thing, partly to get his help and partly because I HATE not talking to him about...well, anything. Shopping for him is kinda hell.
Speaking of which, I have just enough time to go and finally order his presents before I get ready for work. Have a good day, loyal readers! Any suggestions to any of the problems (day to start new hobbies, ways to share & edit, etc) would be MOST loved and appreciated!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
As A Friend Said, It's Like Living In A Snow Globe...
I have done...nothing today.
Well, okay, that's not quite true.
I slept, ate, played some WoW, and puts lots of music into my computer. I even figured out how to properly sort it all when WMP decided to be dumb about it.
I didn't do laundry, I didn't go buy the snacks I forgot to get yesterday...in short, I didn't leave the house.
If you're wondering why not, here are some pictures in answer:
As you can see, the roads are actually in pretty good shape. However, there are still plenty of morons out there, and it's really cold, and it's my day off, and I wanted to just have a relaxing day and just LAY OFF, WOULD YA?!
...
*cough*
Tomorrow is back to work until Monday! Woulda been Tuesday, but L was nice enough to switch shifts with me, so I only work six days in a row instead of seven. :D Also, without realizing it, I got an extra two hours, since my original shift was only 6 hours and hers is 8. Yay more monies!...although that only brings me up to 38 hours, aaaand I'm sure to have plenty of cut hours as has been the norm for the past month and a half. Ah well. *crosses fingers*
It's funny, I hate having my hours cut because, y'know, I like money, but at the time it happens, I'm a little happy about it. They get cut for a reason: we're slow, and who wants to sit around with nothing to do, not allowed to do anything but clean the same thing over and over again or stare at the wall until a customer comes in? Also, work vs. home isn't a tough decision. So it's a love-hate thing, I guess.
This coming Sunday I will finally be able to start poking at Found again, and showing it to people to get feedback. I've been eager to get to it, or to get to a new story, or something. NaNo certainly re-awoke the writer in me...I know I can do it, in both ability and discipline, and undoubtedly with a TON less stress, what with the deadline gone. Although I do plan on giving myself deadlines, just not 50K-in-30-days-with-full-time-job deadlines. Not literal deadlines.
Anyway. Back to relaxing. :)
Well, okay, that's not quite true.
I slept, ate, played some WoW, and puts lots of music into my computer. I even figured out how to properly sort it all when WMP decided to be dumb about it.
I didn't do laundry, I didn't go buy the snacks I forgot to get yesterday...in short, I didn't leave the house.
If you're wondering why not, here are some pictures in answer:
As you can see, the roads are actually in pretty good shape. However, there are still plenty of morons out there, and it's really cold, and it's my day off, and I wanted to just have a relaxing day and just LAY OFF, WOULD YA?!
...
*cough*
Tomorrow is back to work until Monday! Woulda been Tuesday, but L was nice enough to switch shifts with me, so I only work six days in a row instead of seven. :D Also, without realizing it, I got an extra two hours, since my original shift was only 6 hours and hers is 8. Yay more monies!...although that only brings me up to 38 hours, aaaand I'm sure to have plenty of cut hours as has been the norm for the past month and a half. Ah well. *crosses fingers*
It's funny, I hate having my hours cut because, y'know, I like money, but at the time it happens, I'm a little happy about it. They get cut for a reason: we're slow, and who wants to sit around with nothing to do, not allowed to do anything but clean the same thing over and over again or stare at the wall until a customer comes in? Also, work vs. home isn't a tough decision. So it's a love-hate thing, I guess.
This coming Sunday I will finally be able to start poking at Found again, and showing it to people to get feedback. I've been eager to get to it, or to get to a new story, or something. NaNo certainly re-awoke the writer in me...I know I can do it, in both ability and discipline, and undoubtedly with a TON less stress, what with the deadline gone. Although I do plan on giving myself deadlines, just not 50K-in-30-days-with-full-time-job deadlines. Not literal deadlines.
Anyway. Back to relaxing. :)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
*Pats Self On Back*
Today--well, tomorrow, really, although it's technically 1 am on December 1st and I'm back-dating this entry--marks the end of National Novel Writing Month.
I didn't win. I didn't even crack 40,000 words.
I am so very proud of myself.
I entered. I committed. I planned. I worked. I wrote.
End result: over 35,000 accumulated words and what I hope will be a good story.
The last time I touched Found was Sunday. I'm not going to touch it or look at it again until the thirteenth. Then I'm going to print out at least two copies--one for myself and one for Ryan--possibly more if BJ or anyone else wants to help me edit--and go at it with a red pen. Right now, I'm too close to the story. I can't read it, I get impatient and start skimming because I know what's going on here and I want to get to the next bit, and before I know it I've skimmed the entire thing.
We'll see what happens once I see it with fresher eyes, and once someone else sees it. Ryan may love me and want me to love him back, but he is still honest when he knows it will help me. BJ is my roommate and one of my dearest friends, but he is always, always honest, and he's a reader and a former English major, so I know that he will give me qualified and unabashed criticism.
I want to offer up copies for other people to read through and edit, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. I want the help, and I want the opinion, but I also want a fresh audience for when it's done (even if "done" means "I would send this off to an agent if I thought it would sell" and not necessarily "sellable").
I also want to offer my up my appreciation and heartfelt thanks to my friends and family who supported me and gave unabashed admiration and encouragement. I had not one single person tell me I shouldn't do it, or that I couldn't do it. This may say a lot about my choice of people, but I think it also says a lot about what wonderful people they are. Thank you. Every one. There will be more thanks to come!
The next two weeks will mostly be reading and, you know, living and working. I may start tapping at the other story that infested my head in the second week, but I'm not sure yet if that's a wise idea. Either way, after those two weeks, I will be diving back in, and I'm not surfacing again for a long time. I'm not done writing.
I may not have won NaNoWriMo this year (this year), but I still think I've proven one thing to myself: I'm a writer.
I'm a writer.
I didn't win. I didn't even crack 40,000 words.
I am so very proud of myself.
I entered. I committed. I planned. I worked. I wrote.
End result: over 35,000 accumulated words and what I hope will be a good story.
The last time I touched Found was Sunday. I'm not going to touch it or look at it again until the thirteenth. Then I'm going to print out at least two copies--one for myself and one for Ryan--possibly more if BJ or anyone else wants to help me edit--and go at it with a red pen. Right now, I'm too close to the story. I can't read it, I get impatient and start skimming because I know what's going on here and I want to get to the next bit, and before I know it I've skimmed the entire thing.
We'll see what happens once I see it with fresher eyes, and once someone else sees it. Ryan may love me and want me to love him back, but he is still honest when he knows it will help me. BJ is my roommate and one of my dearest friends, but he is always, always honest, and he's a reader and a former English major, so I know that he will give me qualified and unabashed criticism.
I want to offer up copies for other people to read through and edit, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. I want the help, and I want the opinion, but I also want a fresh audience for when it's done (even if "done" means "I would send this off to an agent if I thought it would sell" and not necessarily "sellable").
I also want to offer my up my appreciation and heartfelt thanks to my friends and family who supported me and gave unabashed admiration and encouragement. I had not one single person tell me I shouldn't do it, or that I couldn't do it. This may say a lot about my choice of people, but I think it also says a lot about what wonderful people they are. Thank you. Every one. There will be more thanks to come!
The next two weeks will mostly be reading and, you know, living and working. I may start tapping at the other story that infested my head in the second week, but I'm not sure yet if that's a wise idea. Either way, after those two weeks, I will be diving back in, and I'm not surfacing again for a long time. I'm not done writing.
I may not have won NaNoWriMo this year (this year), but I still think I've proven one thing to myself: I'm a writer.
I'm a writer.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Aiming For The Moon Totally Worked! These Stars ROCK!
I have to say, while I'm not 100% healthy again, it is so great to be able to breathe and to no longer sound like a prepubescent Kermit the Frog. :D
I'm starting to accept the fact that, excluding a miracle, I'm not going to win NaNoWriMo. Accepting is made possible by the realization that, holy crap, I wrote a 35,000-word book. Dude. That's AWESOME.
And I'm not done-done, either. I'm still going back through, finding parts that need expanding or detailing, so 35K isn't the final number. I'm just fairly certain that, even if I do hit 50K with this book, it ain't going to be in the next three days. Not unless there's another gas leak on Cleveland and my store is closed until Wednesday.
If I had any of the next three days off, maybe. But, I don't. Tomorrow is 8:30 to 2:30, Monday is 11 to 7:30, and Tuesday is 1:30 to 9. Honestly, tomorrow afternoon and Tuesday morning are my best/last chances to make the goal, and that's assuming I don't get waylaid by errands, fatigue, cold relapse, etc.
In other news: ...well, I guess there isn't any other news. Work was work. I'm feeling (and sounding!) much better. Life goes on. La de da. :D
I'm starting to accept the fact that, excluding a miracle, I'm not going to win NaNoWriMo. Accepting is made possible by the realization that, holy crap, I wrote a 35,000-word book. Dude. That's AWESOME.
And I'm not done-done, either. I'm still going back through, finding parts that need expanding or detailing, so 35K isn't the final number. I'm just fairly certain that, even if I do hit 50K with this book, it ain't going to be in the next three days. Not unless there's another gas leak on Cleveland and my store is closed until Wednesday.
If I had any of the next three days off, maybe. But, I don't. Tomorrow is 8:30 to 2:30, Monday is 11 to 7:30, and Tuesday is 1:30 to 9. Honestly, tomorrow afternoon and Tuesday morning are my best/last chances to make the goal, and that's assuming I don't get waylaid by errands, fatigue, cold relapse, etc.
In other news: ...well, I guess there isn't any other news. Work was work. I'm feeling (and sounding!) much better. Life goes on. La de da. :D
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Ended, Yes. Finished, No.
Hi. Yup. Still sick. Today I've been losing my voice on and off. According to Ryan, I sound like a squirrel.
In other news, I hit the end of my story. No balloons or confetti please: notice that I didn't say that I finished. For one thing, I'm almost 20,000 words behind the NaNo goal. For another, the story is in great need of, well, finishing. Tiny plot knots got written and rewritten constantly during the process, so I need to go back and fix several things. Plus I left out a great deal of character and setting exposition, sooo...yeah. I'm hoping adding clarification and depth and texture will plump up the word count to the hoped-for 50K.
Now, time to go get dinner!
In other news, I hit the end of my story. No balloons or confetti please: notice that I didn't say that I finished. For one thing, I'm almost 20,000 words behind the NaNo goal. For another, the story is in great need of, well, finishing. Tiny plot knots got written and rewritten constantly during the process, so I need to go back and fix several things. Plus I left out a great deal of character and setting exposition, sooo...yeah. I'm hoping adding clarification and depth and texture will plump up the word count to the hoped-for 50K.
Now, time to go get dinner!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Still Here.
Still here. Still sick. Still writing.
And by sick I mean, I spent all night alternately sweating or freezing and tossing and turning, but now all that's left is a mildly sore throat that hurts when I laugh, yawn, or swallow.
And by writing I mean adding a dozen or so words before reading another chapter of Almost Paradise. It's inspiration. Really.
The truth is, I've come to the most important part of the story, and I'm stuck. The main character hasn't had any contact with her grandmother in 10 years even though she was her favorite person and the only one who ever encouraged her, and although Ryan insists that this can, indeed, happen with people, it just doesn't feel right. Why wouldn't have Molly contacted Charlotte? Even better a question is, why wouldn't have Charlotte contacted Molly? She reached adult age, her mother wouldn't have been in the way anymore, what was stopping either one of them? More importantly, how do I keep going with this problem unanswered?
Ergh.
This has been a theme all month: I get a day off, an entire day to devote to writing, and I barely get anything done. On the days I work, I spend all of it gazing wistfully at the cafe, wishing I could be at my favorite table, typing away at the keyboard.
Ergh.
Next day off is Monday, which is Ryan's birthday. We have the food planned (dinnerfrom Polito's (the only restaurant in the area with thin crust pizza), cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory), but not the rest of the day, although it's safe to say we won't be spending it writing. After that is Black Friday, where I'll be spending half the day tending to my poor Ryan. You see, Ryan is working on Black Friday. From 3:45 in the morning until 12:15. I'll be spending the rest of the day comforting him from his trauma.
On the plus side of Ryan world, he spent today being trained in Customer Service! Something beyond cashiering! Other things to do, other people to talk to! A show that they plan on keeping him! Woo!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my book. And I'm not saying which one, either.
And by sick I mean, I spent all night alternately sweating or freezing and tossing and turning, but now all that's left is a mildly sore throat that hurts when I laugh, yawn, or swallow.
And by writing I mean adding a dozen or so words before reading another chapter of Almost Paradise. It's inspiration. Really.
The truth is, I've come to the most important part of the story, and I'm stuck. The main character hasn't had any contact with her grandmother in 10 years even though she was her favorite person and the only one who ever encouraged her, and although Ryan insists that this can, indeed, happen with people, it just doesn't feel right. Why wouldn't have Molly contacted Charlotte? Even better a question is, why wouldn't have Charlotte contacted Molly? She reached adult age, her mother wouldn't have been in the way anymore, what was stopping either one of them? More importantly, how do I keep going with this problem unanswered?
Ergh.
This has been a theme all month: I get a day off, an entire day to devote to writing, and I barely get anything done. On the days I work, I spend all of it gazing wistfully at the cafe, wishing I could be at my favorite table, typing away at the keyboard.
Ergh.
Next day off is Monday, which is Ryan's birthday. We have the food planned (dinnerfrom Polito's (the only restaurant in the area with thin crust pizza), cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory), but not the rest of the day, although it's safe to say we won't be spending it writing. After that is Black Friday, where I'll be spending half the day tending to my poor Ryan. You see, Ryan is working on Black Friday. From 3:45 in the morning until 12:15. I'll be spending the rest of the day comforting him from his trauma.
On the plus side of Ryan world, he spent today being trained in Customer Service! Something beyond cashiering! Other things to do, other people to talk to! A show that they plan on keeping him! Woo!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my book. And I'm not saying which one, either.
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