*Pats Self On Back*

Today--well, tomorrow, really, although it's technically 1 am on December 1st and I'm back-dating this entry--marks the end of National Novel Writing Month.

I didn't win. I didn't even crack 40,000 words.

I am so very proud of myself.

I entered. I committed. I planned. I worked. I wrote.

End result: over 35,000 accumulated words and what I hope will be a good story.

The last time I touched Found was Sunday. I'm not going to touch it or look at it again until the thirteenth. Then I'm going to print out at least two copies--one for myself and one for Ryan--possibly more if BJ or anyone else wants to help me edit--and go at it with a red pen. Right now, I'm too close to the story. I can't read it, I get impatient and start skimming because I know what's going on here and I want to get to the next bit, and before I know it I've skimmed the entire thing.

We'll see what happens once I see it with fresher eyes, and once someone else sees it. Ryan may love me and want me to love him back, but he is still honest when he knows it will help me. BJ is my roommate and one of my dearest friends, but he is always, always honest, and he's a reader and a former English major, so I know that he will give me qualified and unabashed criticism.

I want to offer up copies for other people to read through and edit, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. I want the help, and I want the opinion, but I also want a fresh audience for when it's done (even if "done" means "I would send this off to an agent if I thought it would sell" and not necessarily "sellable").

I also want to offer my up my appreciation and heartfelt thanks to my friends and family who supported me and gave unabashed admiration and encouragement. I had not one single person tell me I shouldn't do it, or that I couldn't do it. This may say a lot about my choice of people, but I think it also says a lot about what wonderful people they are. Thank you. Every one. There will be more thanks to come!

The next two weeks will mostly be reading and, you know, living and working. I may start tapping at the other story that infested my head in the second week, but I'm not sure yet if that's a wise idea. Either way, after those two weeks, I will be diving back in, and I'm not surfacing again for a long time. I'm not done writing.

I may not have won NaNoWriMo this year (this year), but I still think I've proven one thing to myself: I'm a writer.

I'm a writer.