Still here, although not all there.
I mentioned recently that I've been depressed; that timeline started around the middle of June. I've felt a bit better the past two weeks, which was either ironic or fitting since it directly coincided with the time of the month I'm usually much crabbier and harder to deal with, first with PMS and then with During-MS.
Then the past week, I've been bouncing--hard--between a bitch, a mope, or a complete spaz. Ryan's despaired of taking me shopping anywhere, even for groceries, and if I'm not working on something (be it barring, writing/planning, or photoediting), my mind is all over the place. Unless, of course, I'm snapping at someone or whimpering in a corner.
I'd really like to know where the hell I went. This isn't me. I have mood swings just as bad as the next girl, I have an entire steam trunk of issues, and I'm always a bit of a spazzy little weirdo, but this is whole other animal. It feels like back in June, someone opened up my skull, stuck in a wooden spoon, and had a fine time mixing it all up.
Something isn't right. And I fucking hate it.
Anyway, that's why I've been really horrible with everything...it's even reached blog posts and photo posts now. I hate making excuses, and I promise I'm not instead spending all my spare time being a sad sack, it's mostly just a lack of physical and mental energy, a hole in my memory, and an inability to keep my thoughts in a straight line.
Love you all. I'll be back eventually. All of me. I promise.
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