Hellooooooo!

There are many people I could blame with the creation of this blog: my parents, for encouraging me and insisting my opinion was worth something; my fourth grade teacher, for telling me "You are never done writing,"; the many subsequent teachers who read my writing and told me that I had a way with words (my parents can also be accused of voicing these sentiments); and, finally, all the bloggers I follow, for making it look so easy and fun.

However, as much as I've been told that I have every right to say what I want, and that I can say it well, the bullies in my head still insist that blogging at every urge would just annoy the people who follow my current blog.

So, here's my answer: a blog that people can just check when they want to, instead of having their friends page flooded with inanity. Because, let's face it, I may be able to write well, and I may be insightful and even clever on occasion, but the truth is that I'm a dork, a spaz, a silly, and my blogging ain't winning Pulitzers any time soon.

The other reason for this move is that I feel I've "outgrown" LiveJournal. I made my first entry on November 3, 2001, when I was sixteen. That first entry was about being torn between two boys, which was a MAJOR, LIFE-CHANGING PROBLEM, DAMMIT. Since then, it has been locked and unlocked, the templates and colors have changed many times, and many other LIFE-CHANGING DRAMATIC INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT OMG EVENTS have occurred and passed into the annals of history. Eight years have passed. I've changed from an introverted and confused teenager to an introverted and confused adult (you may say "young adult", and that's your right, but I consider that category to cover 18 to 22, personally)(also, this is my blog, and I can call myself anything I want, so step off).

Looking at my LiveJournal now, I feel like I'm leaning on my friends list. If no one comments, I fear that I'm stupid or boring; if I make an entry more than once a day (something that has not happened in a LONG time), I fear that I'm annoying people. Meanwhile, all my friends have gotten these new-fangled things called "lives", and don't update much anymore--and more power to them for having so much to do that they don't have the chance to sit down and entertain me, or comment on my rantings about work. Lazy bums.

The point is, at the top of the list of reasons for Why I Use LiveJournal is the Community/Friends, which is a big part of what it's about. I feel like I need to grow and move on from that. Eventually, this could mean having my own website (something with a .com instead of a .blogspot.com), but that feels bigger than what I'm ready for. This does feel like a step in the right direction.

I feel like my writing/journaling/blogging/public navel-gazing should be made because I want to say something, not because I want someone to read it; I want to blog with no other person to make happy but myself, even if the potential judgment is only in my head.
I want any blog I have to stand on its own, with no built-in audience that only reads it (or skims past it) because it's on their friends page; I want an audience that seeks me out, not one that is force-fed my writing.
Finally, I want my blog to be honest. For some time now, I feel like I'm leaving out a large chunk of my life when I make LJ entries. This is partly due to that insecurity I mentioned earlier, partly due to the usual reactions this part of my life brings about, and partly because this large chunk feels different than the life I've had while on LiveJournal, and it feels like it doesn't belong there. I want to be able to post about anything and everything (within reason)(mostly), and again, this feels like a step in that direction.

I'll be looking for ways to continue updating LiveJournal, whether it's just posting a link that says "New entry over here!" or C&Ping certain posts, or parts of posts. I will also continue to read my friends' page, of course.

I can't promise many things for this blog. I won't say "I'll try to" either, because, as some people might put it, that's setting myself up for failure, giving me an out. I'm just going to do what I'm going to do.

I HOPE to:
[o] post often, even multiple times a day (gasp!)
[o] post whatever is on mind, whatever I have to say, whatever I want to share, whatever I think is cool or interesting or outrageous or shiny
[o] post on a regular basis, possibly making it a "mandatory" part of my routine, to make it a habit
[o] post pictures and art (or at least links to my arts over on other sites)
[o] share as much as possible

That's all for now. More updates coming soon!