Half Distinct.

The rush today was, from what I was told, done before I even arrived. We were a bit busier than usual for quite a while, but quieted down quite a bit once the game started (for those who care, Notre Dame buried Purdue, something like 23 to 17?).

The traffic getting home was ridiculous. I left at 8 and didn't get home for half an hour. At one point, while in standstill traffic on Cleveland Road, I took a side road in a desperate attempt to bypass the traffic light I was attempting to reach...and ended up back on Cleveland, behind the exact same car as before.

I laughed and laughed...

Pomplamoose has been my honest obsession the past few days. I had it in my head all day, after having their YouTube channel on loop during last night's ICC raid in WoW. This song, in particular, has been stuck in my head. It's called "Another Day," and I like it for several reasons.

First, it's a great song. Second, I have a tendency to play the music videos in my head while listening/thinking of songs, and this video makes me happy to think about. Something about their enthusiasm--especially recording the stomps and claps--just makes me glad.

Third, and finally, the lyrics are great, and they remind me of my relationship:

Another day
Shows its face
I'm half awake
Half in space
And if you told me I was beautiful well that would just be in poor taste

Another hour
Flying by
I've yet to shower
Yet to dry
And if you told me I was wonderful I probably would wonder why

I am yours
You are mine
I am yours
You are mine
So it's alright

Another plate
In the sink
We're half the same
Half distinct
And if you told me I was perfect I'd assume you'd had too much too drink

Another day
Fades away
We're half asleep
Half in space
And if you told me we were dreaming I would pinch you to prove we're awake
Yeah if you told me we were dreaming I would pinch you to prove we're awake
Yeah if you told me we were dreaming I would pinch you to prove we're awake
If you told me we were dreaming I would pinch you to prove we're awake
Yeah if you told me we were dreaming I would pinch you to prove we're awake

I think this song reflects us fairly well. If he told me was I beautiful when I was still in Full Morning Grog, I would give him a dirty look. If he told me we were dreaming, I wouldn't hesitate to pinch him, just to make the point. Then giggle when he gave me a Look for it.

I love us. :)

It feels like tomorrow is a day off, but it's not; I work at Ironwood (Sameh's Starbucks!) from 3 to 11:30. I'm apprehensive about closing at another store, but I'll live. Then it'll be Monday, and that is my day off, and I'll like that. Hee.

(Also holy crap check out Pomplamoose's cover of Beat It, it's fantastic.)
(Linky!)

Today.

I am quite sure that, years from now, I will listen to the Norah Jones album feels like home and think of my start at Starbucks. With little exception, I have been listening to that album every single day on the way to and from work. The songs I seem to focus on are Sunrise, Carnival Town, Creepin' In (with Dolly Parton!), In The Morning, and Be Here To Love Me.

Be Here To Love Me is the current favorite, mostly for one specific line. Here are the full lyrics, with the line in question bolded (and here is the song on YouTube):

Your eyes seek conclusion
In all this confusion of mine

Though you and I both know
It's only the warm glow of wine

That's got you to feeling this way
But I don't care
I want you to stay

Just to hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love
Today

Children are dancing
Gamblers are chancing their all

The window's accusing the door
Of abusing the wall

But who cares what the night watchmen say
The stage has been set for the play

So just hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me
Today

The moon's come and gone
But a few stars hang on to the sky

The wind's runnin' free
But it ain't up to me to ask why

But the poets are demanding their pay
And they've left me with nothing to say

Except hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me
Today

Just hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me
Today


The entire song is a wonderful poem set to music, but that one "stanza" makes me smile every time. I love the personification/anthropomorphizing, and you can imagine the writer watching a window rattle as someone slams a door, and pulling this line out of the moment. Norah Jones also sings that line with such emphasis, such feeling! Le sigh.

And, again, the overall song is just lovely. Isn't that what anyone wants? To be held and told they're loved.

I don't care about yesterday, tomorrow, next month, next year--just love me today.

Made For You

There has been so much going on in my life since my last post. I have been stretching my skills and abilities, working hard on several projects, fighting hard battles with myself, and always learning. Hell, I walked on fire two weekends ago! I have so much I could write about!

...but that's not what I'm posting today.

I'm not sure if I believe in Fate or Destiny...I tend more toward the You Make Your Own Destiny side of things. I do believe that, sometimes, little things happen for a reason. You'll notice something on the side of the road, a song will come on the radio, a random stranger will say something that strikes you as relevant to your story, and it happens because you need to hear or see it.

Last week, for the first time in a few months, I felt like listening to my OneRepublic combination CD, with songs from both their albums. I'm not sure what compelled me to put it in, but I'm glad I did. Almost all of their songs make me feel better about life in general, or just plain make me happy. This song, however, is the one that has been leaping out of the speakers and jumping up and down on my head.


I was writing
Thinking with my long hand
Put pen to paper
Everything was sinking
Then you start to wonder
How you gonna handle me when I'm under
Sinking in the darkest sea

Everybody wants you to make it
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to make it
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it
T-t-take it

Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love?
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
It was made for you...

Tell me something
Something that can move me
Don't tell me lies
Or I swear you're gonna lose me
Didn't like the notion
Jealous of the fish
It feeds your devotion
Swimming inside of me

Everybody wants you to make it (Can you feel all the love?)
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it (Can you feel all the love?)
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to make it (Can you feel all the love?)
It's all yours (uh huh)
Everybody wants you to take it (Can you feel all the love,)
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you
It was made for you...


(Song on YouTube)

I'll admit, I'm not 100% sure of what's going on in the verses, lyric-wise. I think it's a writer struggling with the inner insecurities that many creatives have, the worries that "it" won't happen, whatever "it" means for each person.

It's the bridge and chorus that I care about. I have listened to this song so many times over the past week, trying to nail that sucker of a message home: Everybody wants you to make it, everybody wants you to take the chance...feel the love, it was made for you.

I'm not proud of it, but I can be very delicate, and have been even moreso over the past two months. I'll be in a fine mood, even a great mood, and then one little thing will set me off, and I'll sink into tears or temper. Doesn't help that I have this habit of anthropomorphizing every single thing in existence, so when an object doesn't stay where I put it, or jumps out to trip me, or doesn't hang right, or whatever, it feels like a personal slight.

I live on the edge of frustration, and it sometimes feels like Something is pushing me over that edge on purpose. I usually accuse the Universe of being that Something, of not wanting me to keep going in the direction I was heading, of sidetracking me with annoyance and frustration. This song's message is one that I need to take in and glue to my insides.

The Universe is not out to get me; it wants me to be happy.
My friends, my family, and the Universe all want me to succeed.
This is hard lesson to learn, to hold on to.
I am trying.

Don't you think we oughta know by now? Don't you think we should've learn somehow...

Lately, I've been obsessed with two John Mayer songs. The first is Slow Dancing In A Burning Room, which is slow and lovely. (Here's a live performance of it, found on YouTube)

Lyrics:

It's not a silly little moment
It's not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come to save us
We've pulled too many false alarms

We're going down
And you can see it, too
We're going down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear, we're
Slow dancing in a burning room

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it's nothing to me
Baby you're the only light I ever saw

I make the best of all the sadness
You be a bitch because you can
You try to hit me just to hurt me so you leave me feeling dirty
Cause you can't understand

We're going down
And you can see it, too
We're going down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear, we're
Slow dancing in a burning room

Go cry about it, why don't you
Go cry about it, why don't you
Go cry about it, why don't you
My dear, we're
Slow dancing in a burning room

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we should've learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we should've learned somehow...


I know, not the happiest song in the world, by far. But it's just...slow and lovely, and beautiful in its sadness. Mayer's gorgeous guitar-playing and singing don't hurt, either.

I'm not even going to dissect the entire song, because it doesn't really need dissection. But what gets me about this song, though, is that one line. The title line, the most repeated line, the line that breaks my heart every time: slow dancing in a burning room...

If that doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does. I'm not going to pretend I'm some relationship expert, that I'm experience in all kinds of break ups and such--of my grand total of 10, only two have been outside of high school. However, one or two of those have ended as this song describes: going down in flames, unable to let it go just yet, unable to admit that it's over because the emotions are still real and true.

The visual it brings to mind is pretty clear: a couple, oblivious to anything but each other, holding one another close but not meeting eyes, turning around and around in a waltz in the middle of the dance floor, while the dance hall burns to cinders and ashes around them. It's poignant, it's heart breaking...it's perfect.

I've posted the lyrics to the other song I've been obsessed with, Heart of Life, at my LiveJournal, since I'm not really talking about them, just sharing.

Would you always? Maybe sometimes? Make it easy...

I found this video through Fazed, a collection of submitted online oddities. It's a fan video for a song called "Two Weeks" by the band Grizzly Bear. Let me emphasize something: this is a fan video. Not professional. Made in spare time by someone who loved the song just that much. Hot damn.

It was posted a couple of months ago, so it isn't exactly a new find. It's just that I wanted to use this blog to share things I love as well as rants and navel gazing, so why not start with a video that might just be one of my Favorite Things Ever?

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

Something else I've wanted to do with this blog is talk about something I think about more than I let on: lyrics.

While I'm not one for making music, I do love it. I almost always have a song in my head whether I like it or not, I can recite entire songs on command, and I blast music in my car whenever I go somewhere, singing along as loud as I possibly can--when I'm alone.

You can "blame" my father for this: he plays several different instruments with a degree of capability that range from well to wow, he has literally THOUSANDS of CDs (along with plenty of tapes and vinyl records), and he will spend hours upon hours playing with a single sound using his plethora of computer synthesizers that he can--and will--talk about for as long as anyone will listen. Despite all his best efforts, the best I can do when pointed at a musical instrument and told to have at is twitch in a controlled manner.

I recently realized that not everyone listens to music the same way. Shocking, right? I just never thought about it until I was talking with Ryan. Unable to remember the name of a song that I knew he knew, I tried to remind him by reciting some of the lyrics. He just gave me a blank stare. Upon further discussion, I discovered that Ryan listens to songs in layers--first, how each instrument sound individually, then how they all sound together.

The first and last thing I hear are lyrics. To me, music is about poetry set to music. And poetry is about the language. Which is why I'm not partial to most classical music--as beautiful as it is, it just doesn't stick to my brain as it does to Ryan's. This is also why I'm more partial to musicals--I'm a story addict, have a very hard time reading anything that doesn't have a plot, so stories? Set to music? GIMME!

I listen to lyrics, and, if it isn't already clear what the song is about, I do my best to figure it out, put a story behind it. For all I know, I'm completely off target, but I like to think that I'm at least a little close. Especially when the subject is something I'm intimate with, such as love or depression. When you're in something, it's easier to recognize language that relates to it, you know?

Now with that long and lengthy explanation, here is my view on this song: Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear.

First, the lyrics.

Save up all the days
A routine malaise
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always?
Maybe sometimes?
Make it easy?
Take your time

Think of all the ways
Momentary phase
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Every time you try
Quarter half the mile
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always?
Maybe sometimes?
Make it easy?
Take your time

Would you always...
Maybe sometimes...
Make it easy...
Take your time...

Always
Sometimes
Easy
Time


My first thought with this song was: a plea. The singer is pleading to the subject to be happy. This isn't just a case of reading the lyrics--you can hear it in the singer's voice. They love this person, and they just want them to be happy.

There's also the repetition of the line just like yesterday, along with phrases like the routine malaise and every time you try. This makes me think that the person in question is stuck in a cycle (the routine malaise) that is making them unhappy. Not only that, but the cycle isn't solely self-imposed: Every time you try/quarter half the mile hints at an outside force making things harder whenever an attempt is made to break out of it, shortening the distance they've already traveled.

Think of all the ways/Momentary phase makes me think that the subject has given up on the idea of breaking out. They'll think about another way of life, then pass it off as just a phase, a moment's weakness.

The singer understands that all they can do is urge the subject to break out of the cycle, and be there to support them (the repeated phrase I told you I would stay), even if they don't. They understand that it's not an overnight decision/process (take your time). There's no message of "you're a bad person to still be in this cycle" or "I'm leaving unless you do this."

I don't just love this song because of the tune, or the voice, or even because the beautiful fan video plays in my head every time I hear it. I love this song because of the emotion behind it. If I'm right, there is nothing selfish in this song. It's pure love, pure hope for the one they care about to do what's needed to just be happy.

Pure, patient, unselfish, unconditional love.

Does it get any better than that?