I was raised by, in a community of, hippies and feminists and liberals. From the moment I took breath, I was taught and told and shown that I could do and be anything. President? No problem. World traveler? Fantastic! Literary legend? Of course! Genius artiste? Duh!
The fact that I was a girl was never part of the lesson, except perhaps for the lesson of They Might Try To Say You Can't Because You're A Girl, But That Just Means They're Dumb. The words "housewife" and "secretary" weren't exactly dirty, but...
Gender, age, money, none of these things mattered, what mattered is that I put my mind and heart and soul into it and I can go anywhere, I can do and be anything.
...is it wrong, then, that I want to stay home? That I want to be a homemaker, to literally spend my time making a home for my family?
I spent my mini-vacation being domestic. I cleaned, I neatened, I laundered, I cooked, I washed, I rearranged, I organized, I grocery shopped, I planned, I outlined, I budgeted. I neatened my boyfriend's desk, cleaned up his dishes, refilled his drink, made him breakfast and dinner, helped him cook and get ready for work.
I loved every single second of it. Even the frustrating seconds, the seconds where I looked at our money situation and wanted to throw up my hands, the seconds where I got to the laundry room after hauling down an overflowing basket only to discover that I had forgotten the quarters, the seconds where the pancakes burned and the cupcake batter turned to cement and I got sauce on the bottom of my sock and Ryan spilled melted chocolate on the white shirt I just washed yesterday.
I loved taking care of my man. There it is. I gave him shit and sassed him while doing it, I never once did anything because I thought it was "my place" to do so, I helped him when he asked and got his help when I needed it. He never once just assumed I would do something because I'm a girl, he never waved off what I was doing as a given, and all references to my being domestic were either ironic or completely appreciative.
I didn't spend every moment focusing on the house, of course. I also worked on my photography, spending hours taking, editing and uploading pictures. I even hacked at my writing a bit, although that's been quite sticky. As much as I focused on making up our home, I also focused on my own personal and artistic endeavors.
Part of the plan in moving to Indiana was to figure ourselves out, to work and live and get by and think on what we missed from what we were doing in Connecticut. Specifically for me, I hoped to dabble in all my interests--photography, graphic design, marketing/advertising, writing, editing--and see which ones stuck, which ones I made time for because I wanted to, which ones I wanted to invest my time and money in, in terms of potential college degrees.
I have a full time job where I am on my feet all day, I spend a good deal of time taking care of the house, and I still make sure I find time to read, write, do art photography, and be with my friends and boyfriend. These are the things I find important: words, art, people.
I realized, months ago, that I don't want to back to school. In fact, the thought gives me the willies--spending thousands to sit in a room and learn crap I don't need so I can get a piece of paper? I'd rather spend a fraction of the money to get good lenses and materials, I'd rather spend the time concentrating on an outline or learning what exactly each button and dial on my camera does or having a movie & crafting night with my friends or cooking dinner with my love.
The things I care about, the things I want to do, the person I want to be...I don't need college for that. I just need to get the hell out of my own way.
Okay, so I don't just want to be a homemaker. I also want to be an artist and a writer. I know my hippie parents will be overjoyed that I'm finally realizing the last part. I guess I'm just worried about the first part. I was raised in the woods, in workshops, at period faires and drum circles and Pagan gatherings...and I want to be a housewife? A stereotype?
For me, the real stereotype is the woman who is only at home because she's been taught, from the moment she took breath, that it is her destiny, that her brain doesn't matter. The woman who has never had a choice. So no, I don't want to be a stereotype. I just want to be me.
And that happens to mean that I stay at home and take care of my children, my spouse, and our home. I'd even be happy staying a barista part-time to help with bills--not a shift supervisor, not a manager, but a barista, because I happen to love it.
I guess that's what it comes down to--I happen to love my life where I "just" serve people, "just" keep house, "just" write and take pictures.
I'm losing that frantic feeling that I NEED to Do Something, to Have A Career or at least a Real Job, because without one I'm wallowing in the rut that so many people fought for me to be able to leave. I'm losing the self-imposed of cloud of Should, of What Am I Going To Do With My Life, the guilt that's more from myself than anybody else. I'm gaining self-respect, fulfillment, peace and contentment with who I am and what I want to do.
And hell, I'm not even there yet! I'm still in the part where we have to work our asses off to get by, where I can only get myself to write once or twice a week, where I have a small window for photography each day that I miss as often as I hit, where most nights I'm so tired that even reading sounds too taxing. I'm still at the part where the house and the family and the life that I crave is far enough away to seem impossible.
But I know I'll get there, I know we'll get there. And I know now what I want it to look like.
I love that picture. I'm proud of that picture.
And that's all that matters.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Friday, March 19, 2010
*Boom*
So. I made a post about making some new rules and moving my life along.
Then everything exploded.
On February 27th, I found out that a dear friend, one I’ve known online for almost ten years, committed suicide in August. Three weeks later, I am still being hit with waves of grief, regret, sorrow, and shock. The fact that I found out almost exactly a year after my first big loss in Uncle Bill, the day before his memorial, just adds to the weight of it on my heart. She was a gorgeous soul, and I currently can’t talk about her too much without getting upset, so, as I’m at work, this will be all on that subject for the time being.
On March 2nd, I decided to withdraw from my classes and basically leave school for the foreseeable future.
A period of depression and anxiety that swept through in February, classes that were a combination of unchallenging and needlessly complicated, and the news about my friend all took a toll on my attendance and willingness to just plow through. A meeting with an Eastern advisor that did not go exactly as planned was the nail in the coffin for this semester, and school in general.
I started at Manchester Community in the fall semester of 2004. I’ve gone through four majors, five and a half years, eight semesters, almost 30 classes, and 84 credits.
Subjects that first gave me a thrill—new! exciting! creative! fun! challenging!—somehow became just another set of classes to slog through to get the biscuit at the end. The question is—was it the subjects, the classes, the teachers, or me?
If I went class by class, I could answer that question, but I’m more interested in the overall arc of my trip through secondary education. I keep skipping about from one interest to another. Graphic design…art…web design…writing…editing…marketing…hell, even accounting still holds some appeal, if only I could get my head around numbers (As Ryan pointed out, with my math skills, I’d make me accounting clients very happy…until we all got arrested). Whenever I think I’ve settled down on something, I get distracted by something else. This could possibly be worked around, but not without some finesse and planning.
When I met with the transfer advisor at ECSU, I told her about all my interests, and my curiosity with the individualized major. She took what I told her and outlined a possible plan—a major in Digital Art & Design, with minors in English and Business. This path would take three and a half years—one semester would be comprised solely of General Education Requirements.
All through MCC, I was led to believe that getting an Associates would automatically check off the general stuff, and all but guarantee that I would enter any four-year college as a junior, only needing to take classes in my major.
Now, maybe I misunderstood what I was told; I am willing to admit that. What I took away from that meeting was not that someone on one side or the other had made a mistake; it was that I was being thrown a much different clump of information than I was expecting. After years of getting through for the sake of getting through, a month of barely having the energy for uninspiring classes, and only two days after receiving a horrible bombshell on the anniversary of the biggest loss I’d yet suffered, it was just too much. Something had to give, and the choice came down to school or my sanity.
I promise, if this sounds melodramatic, that I am not exaggerating the stress and sense of calamity that I have been living through for the past three weeks. If anything, I am downplaying it. The first week of March, for the only time in my life, I was stressed to the point of nausea, spending more time ready to throw up than anything else. My sleep has suffered, and all the areas of my body that usually respond to stress—my skin, my feet, my shoulders—have all been miserable.
To say that this was an easy decision would be a complete lie. The fact is, however, that it was not one that took a long time to make. I won’t say that it was hastily made, but I won’t say that it was drawn out, either. Honestly, I spent more time worrying about my parents’ reactions than I did about wether or not it was a good idea.
While this complicates things, drastically changes plans, and otherwise throws a giant wrench in the machine of my life…this feels right.
What it comes down to is this: As it is, I have spent enough time and money on college, pursuing different paths. I won’t call it a waste, as I have learned a great deal, and I even got an Associates out of it—in a subject I enjoy, and may even end up pursuing! However, after so many years and so much shit, it feels like going any further, with my mind the way it is, would be a waste. Of money, of time, of energy…of everything.
I don’t know what I want, and it just doesn’t feel right to marry one subject when I can’t commit fully, or to even just “love the one I’m with,” going for a business degree that might only be two years just to get a diploma in something. It feels, in fact, completely wrong.
There is more, much more, but I have once again let a post run quite long, and I've been hacking away at this one for the better part of two hours. Apologies if this is ending on an abrupt note, but it's either that or let it keep rambling forever. I promise, more is to come, and soon.
Then everything exploded.
On February 27th, I found out that a dear friend, one I’ve known online for almost ten years, committed suicide in August. Three weeks later, I am still being hit with waves of grief, regret, sorrow, and shock. The fact that I found out almost exactly a year after my first big loss in Uncle Bill, the day before his memorial, just adds to the weight of it on my heart. She was a gorgeous soul, and I currently can’t talk about her too much without getting upset, so, as I’m at work, this will be all on that subject for the time being.
On March 2nd, I decided to withdraw from my classes and basically leave school for the foreseeable future.
A period of depression and anxiety that swept through in February, classes that were a combination of unchallenging and needlessly complicated, and the news about my friend all took a toll on my attendance and willingness to just plow through. A meeting with an Eastern advisor that did not go exactly as planned was the nail in the coffin for this semester, and school in general.
I started at Manchester Community in the fall semester of 2004. I’ve gone through four majors, five and a half years, eight semesters, almost 30 classes, and 84 credits.
Subjects that first gave me a thrill—new! exciting! creative! fun! challenging!—somehow became just another set of classes to slog through to get the biscuit at the end. The question is—was it the subjects, the classes, the teachers, or me?
If I went class by class, I could answer that question, but I’m more interested in the overall arc of my trip through secondary education. I keep skipping about from one interest to another. Graphic design…art…web design…writing…editing…marketing…hell, even accounting still holds some appeal, if only I could get my head around numbers (As Ryan pointed out, with my math skills, I’d make me accounting clients very happy…until we all got arrested). Whenever I think I’ve settled down on something, I get distracted by something else. This could possibly be worked around, but not without some finesse and planning.
When I met with the transfer advisor at ECSU, I told her about all my interests, and my curiosity with the individualized major. She took what I told her and outlined a possible plan—a major in Digital Art & Design, with minors in English and Business. This path would take three and a half years—one semester would be comprised solely of General Education Requirements.
All through MCC, I was led to believe that getting an Associates would automatically check off the general stuff, and all but guarantee that I would enter any four-year college as a junior, only needing to take classes in my major.
Now, maybe I misunderstood what I was told; I am willing to admit that. What I took away from that meeting was not that someone on one side or the other had made a mistake; it was that I was being thrown a much different clump of information than I was expecting. After years of getting through for the sake of getting through, a month of barely having the energy for uninspiring classes, and only two days after receiving a horrible bombshell on the anniversary of the biggest loss I’d yet suffered, it was just too much. Something had to give, and the choice came down to school or my sanity.
I promise, if this sounds melodramatic, that I am not exaggerating the stress and sense of calamity that I have been living through for the past three weeks. If anything, I am downplaying it. The first week of March, for the only time in my life, I was stressed to the point of nausea, spending more time ready to throw up than anything else. My sleep has suffered, and all the areas of my body that usually respond to stress—my skin, my feet, my shoulders—have all been miserable.
To say that this was an easy decision would be a complete lie. The fact is, however, that it was not one that took a long time to make. I won’t say that it was hastily made, but I won’t say that it was drawn out, either. Honestly, I spent more time worrying about my parents’ reactions than I did about wether or not it was a good idea.
While this complicates things, drastically changes plans, and otherwise throws a giant wrench in the machine of my life…this feels right.
What it comes down to is this: As it is, I have spent enough time and money on college, pursuing different paths. I won’t call it a waste, as I have learned a great deal, and I even got an Associates out of it—in a subject I enjoy, and may even end up pursuing! However, after so many years and so much shit, it feels like going any further, with my mind the way it is, would be a waste. Of money, of time, of energy…of everything.
I don’t know what I want, and it just doesn’t feel right to marry one subject when I can’t commit fully, or to even just “love the one I’m with,” going for a business degree that might only be two years just to get a diploma in something. It feels, in fact, completely wrong.
There is more, much more, but I have once again let a post run quite long, and I've been hacking away at this one for the better part of two hours. Apologies if this is ending on an abrupt note, but it's either that or let it keep rambling forever. I promise, more is to come, and soon.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
What's Goin' On, 2/23/10 Edition
I started writing this last month, before the current semester had even started. Opened it again today, and had to edit it a bit. At any rate, this is my life right now:
WORK
Work is…the same. I’m not working Monday nights anymore, my schedule is just Fridays from 11-12-1ish to closing (when I start depends on the day), and Saturday from open to close. I find that I actually really miss working on Monday nights. In theory, the same regulars that work out that night work out on Friday night, so it should be the same. Except for two things: first, I work a longer day on Friday, so by the time they come in I’m ready to go home; second, it’s the end of the week, and they’re feeling the same way. I’m seeing way less of my favorite regulars, and I’m just feeling…apathetic toward work in general.
Although: last week and this week, I’ve gotten some more hours, due to my boss having outside obligations. There’s a chance I may start working on a weekday again, at least for a few hours before class. I’m kinda hoping—both for money, and for Time Out Of The House That’s Not Class.
I’ve also been doing housecleaning for my mom, who has big back problems and can’t do as much as she used to. Of course, I say I’ve been doing it, but I’ve only done one day of it. Weather, school, and lack of energy have made it rather difficult to get over there with enough time to be actually useful. But I’m trying!
SCHOOL
The reason I’m no longer working Monday nights is because of my classes: only available times for the two classes I need* are at night, MW from 6 to 9, TR from 7 to 10. Shoot me now.
*I actually have three classes left in the program, but Graphic Design filled up insanely quickly (I blame the way the computer set up the registration, but that’s a rant I won’t start).
Which leads me to the next school sub-topic: The Next Step. This has been a bit of a saga the past month.
I was looking at the colleges in the area (namely UConn and ECSU), focusing on the availability of three areas: Marketing, Editing, and Graphic Design. UConn has an official Marketing degree, enough classes for me to throw together an Editing degree through an Individualized Major, and the same deal for Graphic Design (there is a “Communications Design” major, but (a) it’s less graphic and more all-around design, and (b) the admission requirements are out of my reach). ECSU has a Visual Design minor, and enough classes for me to make a Marketing Individualized Major, but that’s it. So UConn looked to be winning.
Then this semester started, with the Advanced Computer Graphics class. Very first class period, we watched a short movie on a digital artist named Bert Monroy. This short blew my mind, and had me scraping my jaw off the floor. The digital paintings this man does are ridiculous, in terms of beauty, detail, and staggering talent. That picture on the front page of the web site? That’s not a photograph, that’s a painting, made entirely in Illustrator and Photoshop. Ridiculous.
That short got my mind working, and I did another poke at UConn and ECSU for anything involving digital media. Somehow, on my first search, I had missed the Digital Art and Design concentration at ECSU; reading it over, I fell in love. With the classes, with the program as a whole, and, thanks to alumnus Ryan, with the college.
Just this morning, not half an hour ago, I pulled together enough energy to do the Online Application - Transfer on the ECSU Online Services page. Thought I’d fill out as much as I could, and find out what else would needed to be done to actually apply.
Next thing I know, it’s saying I’m all done and hit this button to send it off. So I did. Surprisingly fast and easy, and I’m actually feeling a little dizzy because of it. It appears that all I have left to do is fetch my high school and MCC transcripts and send them off, and I’m set.
I’ve applied to college. … Eek!
Funny side note: There was a College Transfer Fair at MCC two weeks ago, and I popped by it to grab some material off the ECSU table. One of these materials was a postcard to send in asking for more information on a given major. One of the blanks to fill in on the postcard, along with name and address and college and what-have-you, was credits earned thus far. I went to my online MCC transcript to find out.
I have 84 credits. After this semester, I will have 90. 90 mothereffing credits. Every one earned at Manchester Community College.
I NEED TO MOVE ON ALREADY.
This has gotten a bit long, so I shall save the rest of the post (What Else Is Goin’ On, 2/24/10 Edition) for tomorrow.
WORK
Work is…the same. I’m not working Monday nights anymore, my schedule is just Fridays from 11-12-1ish to closing (when I start depends on the day), and Saturday from open to close. I find that I actually really miss working on Monday nights. In theory, the same regulars that work out that night work out on Friday night, so it should be the same. Except for two things: first, I work a longer day on Friday, so by the time they come in I’m ready to go home; second, it’s the end of the week, and they’re feeling the same way. I’m seeing way less of my favorite regulars, and I’m just feeling…apathetic toward work in general.
Although: last week and this week, I’ve gotten some more hours, due to my boss having outside obligations. There’s a chance I may start working on a weekday again, at least for a few hours before class. I’m kinda hoping—both for money, and for Time Out Of The House That’s Not Class.
I’ve also been doing housecleaning for my mom, who has big back problems and can’t do as much as she used to. Of course, I say I’ve been doing it, but I’ve only done one day of it. Weather, school, and lack of energy have made it rather difficult to get over there with enough time to be actually useful. But I’m trying!
SCHOOL
The reason I’m no longer working Monday nights is because of my classes: only available times for the two classes I need* are at night, MW from 6 to 9, TR from 7 to 10. Shoot me now.
*I actually have three classes left in the program, but Graphic Design filled up insanely quickly (I blame the way the computer set up the registration, but that’s a rant I won’t start).
Which leads me to the next school sub-topic: The Next Step. This has been a bit of a saga the past month.
I was looking at the colleges in the area (namely UConn and ECSU), focusing on the availability of three areas: Marketing, Editing, and Graphic Design. UConn has an official Marketing degree, enough classes for me to throw together an Editing degree through an Individualized Major, and the same deal for Graphic Design (there is a “Communications Design” major, but (a) it’s less graphic and more all-around design, and (b) the admission requirements are out of my reach). ECSU has a Visual Design minor, and enough classes for me to make a Marketing Individualized Major, but that’s it. So UConn looked to be winning.
Then this semester started, with the Advanced Computer Graphics class. Very first class period, we watched a short movie on a digital artist named Bert Monroy. This short blew my mind, and had me scraping my jaw off the floor. The digital paintings this man does are ridiculous, in terms of beauty, detail, and staggering talent. That picture on the front page of the web site? That’s not a photograph, that’s a painting, made entirely in Illustrator and Photoshop. Ridiculous.
That short got my mind working, and I did another poke at UConn and ECSU for anything involving digital media. Somehow, on my first search, I had missed the Digital Art and Design concentration at ECSU; reading it over, I fell in love. With the classes, with the program as a whole, and, thanks to alumnus Ryan, with the college.
Just this morning, not half an hour ago, I pulled together enough energy to do the Online Application - Transfer on the ECSU Online Services page. Thought I’d fill out as much as I could, and find out what else would needed to be done to actually apply.
Next thing I know, it’s saying I’m all done and hit this button to send it off. So I did. Surprisingly fast and easy, and I’m actually feeling a little dizzy because of it. It appears that all I have left to do is fetch my high school and MCC transcripts and send them off, and I’m set.
I’ve applied to college. … Eek!
Funny side note: There was a College Transfer Fair at MCC two weeks ago, and I popped by it to grab some material off the ECSU table. One of these materials was a postcard to send in asking for more information on a given major. One of the blanks to fill in on the postcard, along with name and address and college and what-have-you, was credits earned thus far. I went to my online MCC transcript to find out.
I have 84 credits. After this semester, I will have 90. 90 mothereffing credits. Every one earned at Manchester Community College.
I NEED TO MOVE ON ALREADY.
This has gotten a bit long, so I shall save the rest of the post (What Else Is Goin’ On, 2/24/10 Edition) for tomorrow.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
My Random Opinion on Education That No One Asked For, Part Two
Only two weeks after the first installation, here is the second part of my rant.
Gratuitous Fine Print: I am not a teacher, and I have not taken a single course on education. These rants are just that, ranting, based solely on my experience as a student, a friend of a student, and a friend of teachers.
My next Mostly Opinion-Based idea: Eliminate homework. Or at least change it's purpose, and the weight with which it's grade.
First, there's an important question to ask: What is the point of homework? Is it to help students review what they've gone over? Is it meant to introduce new concepts that will soon be covered in class? Is it showing how much a student is learning--or at least memorizing?
Ideally, I think, it should be a combination--help embed the information in child's mind (review), suggest how else the information could be used (introduction), and see how well the child is grasping the information (measurements). It should be used as a tool and nothing more.
Sadly, what it's currently used for is another thing to grade, another project for a kid to worry about, waste time on, or forget to do. I can name literally a dozen kids in high school whose marks went down the toilet based solely on their homework grade--and those are just the kids I knew.
My current boyfriend had to take a math class over again because he didn't do any of the homework the first time he took it. When he walked back in the second time, the math teacher looked at him and said "What are you doing here?" He spent that semester helping other kids learn the material, because he knew it forwards, backwards, and upside down. Read that again: he knew the material, but he was flunked because of homework.
You might ask "Why didn't he just do the homework and get a passing grade?" I ask back "Why should the homework matter so goddamned much that you can flunk a class based on it even as you ace every test?" (For the record, he has off-the-charts ADHD. This is merely an explanation, not an excuse, because he shouldn't need a bloody excuse.)
To repeat myself: homework should be a tool, and nothing else. If the kid doesn't want to do it--because they don't have the time, the attention span, the will, the need, whatever--it should not affect their overall grade. What they should be graded on is participation and projects/tests/papers--things that show that they thoroughly understand the material, and aren't just memorizing it long enough to get through the class and move on.
Currently, a lot of schools work as an assembly line. Send the kid through the grades, plugging in the required passing grades in all the required subjects: math, history, social studies, sciences, language, English, etc. Grades are what matter, not how well the student grasps the concepts; the importance is placed in the wrong area.
What this leads to is quite obvious if you take a look at our country. Abysmal rates in literacy, education levels, and basic knowledge.
To sum up: Take the emphasis off of tokens like homework, and put it back on understanding and comprehension.
Gratuitous Fine Print: I am not a teacher, and I have not taken a single course on education. These rants are just that, ranting, based solely on my experience as a student, a friend of a student, and a friend of teachers.
My next Mostly Opinion-Based idea: Eliminate homework. Or at least change it's purpose, and the weight with which it's grade.
First, there's an important question to ask: What is the point of homework? Is it to help students review what they've gone over? Is it meant to introduce new concepts that will soon be covered in class? Is it showing how much a student is learning--or at least memorizing?
Ideally, I think, it should be a combination--help embed the information in child's mind (review), suggest how else the information could be used (introduction), and see how well the child is grasping the information (measurements). It should be used as a tool and nothing more.
Sadly, what it's currently used for is another thing to grade, another project for a kid to worry about, waste time on, or forget to do. I can name literally a dozen kids in high school whose marks went down the toilet based solely on their homework grade--and those are just the kids I knew.
My current boyfriend had to take a math class over again because he didn't do any of the homework the first time he took it. When he walked back in the second time, the math teacher looked at him and said "What are you doing here?" He spent that semester helping other kids learn the material, because he knew it forwards, backwards, and upside down. Read that again: he knew the material, but he was flunked because of homework.
You might ask "Why didn't he just do the homework and get a passing grade?" I ask back "Why should the homework matter so goddamned much that you can flunk a class based on it even as you ace every test?" (For the record, he has off-the-charts ADHD. This is merely an explanation, not an excuse, because he shouldn't need a bloody excuse.)
To repeat myself: homework should be a tool, and nothing else. If the kid doesn't want to do it--because they don't have the time, the attention span, the will, the need, whatever--it should not affect their overall grade. What they should be graded on is participation and projects/tests/papers--things that show that they thoroughly understand the material, and aren't just memorizing it long enough to get through the class and move on.
Currently, a lot of schools work as an assembly line. Send the kid through the grades, plugging in the required passing grades in all the required subjects: math, history, social studies, sciences, language, English, etc. Grades are what matter, not how well the student grasps the concepts; the importance is placed in the wrong area.
What this leads to is quite obvious if you take a look at our country. Abysmal rates in literacy, education levels, and basic knowledge.
To sum up: Take the emphasis off of tokens like homework, and put it back on understanding and comprehension.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Can we at least watch All The President's Men?
This started out, in my head, as a post about what's going on in my life. I started with school, then starting writing about this one class, and found myself on a tangent. I love it when this happens.
Reporting & Writing News Stories...*shrug* I'm learning how to write differently--I won't say better, because it's not better, it's just different--and I've been introduced to that wonderful jewel, my new bible, the AP Stylebook. The class itself, though, is usually the reason that the drive in to Manchester just feels like a waste of time and gas and energy.
I wish the teacher was more energetic. She seems to be just taking it as a given that because we are in this class, we care about journalism and will find the excitement on our own. Enter me, and a few others, only taking this class because it's required for some non-journalism degree or certificate. Those of us who are only showing up for the grade could use a shot in the arm--hell, so could those who want to be journalists. Who couldn't use some fucking ENTHUSIASM once in a while, even if it's for a subject they're already crazy about?
Back when I was an Accounting major, I had to take a business elective, and I chose Principles of Marketing. From the very first class, Ms. Waldron came in and woke us all right the hell up. From that very first class, I knew I was in the wrong major. Almost every class had enthusiasm, excitement, ENERGY. The students who were already into marketing ate it up, and those of us who weren't ate it up even more. Every class was "This is how you combine psychology, design, and business to show people how much they NEED YOUR PRODUCT!"
Journalism is an exciting topic, or at least it should be. Reporting the hard facts! Unveiling conspiracies! Digging up the truth! COME ON PEOPLE! Every class should be "This is how you slap people in the face with THE TRUTH!"
Instead, it's "Okay, this is how we write a lead. This is how the second paragraph should look. This is how the newsroom works." All things we need to learn, introduced in the most docile of ways.
We do have to practice what we're taught, which is good. As much as I hate it, I will have to turn in not just one, but TWO articles for the student newspaper this semester, and finish off the class by presenting a story idea for next year's class to work on. I don't want to be a journalist, it's not for me, I don't like having to interview people and all that, but I'm glad we have these assignments. This is how we learn how to be journalists--by acting like one.
Except, again, it's docile. At the beginning of yesterday's class, the teacher invited those of us without story ideas to come to her afterward for some ideas. I managed to pick up an assignment: the Wednesday after next, I get to attend the Meet Your Presidents & Deans meeting, and chronicle what goes on there--the remarks each person makes, and what goes on in the Question & Answer period.
....WOW! NOW we're getting to the SEXY stuff! HOPE I DON'T GET ARRESTED AT THE ENSUING RIOT!
I know, I'm being harsh. But this is the most humdrum introduction to journalism I could ever imagine. I know not every reporter gets to run around interviewing celebrities or politicians, go undercover into a major company's skeevy underbelly, or investigate crime...but this is just...*snore*
I know this subject, this path, is not for me. But there might be someone at MCC who it is right for, and all they need is a wake up call to realize it. If they take this class, they will not receive that wake up call. And that makes me sad.
Reporting & Writing News Stories...*shrug* I'm learning how to write differently--I won't say better, because it's not better, it's just different--and I've been introduced to that wonderful jewel, my new bible, the AP Stylebook. The class itself, though, is usually the reason that the drive in to Manchester just feels like a waste of time and gas and energy.
I wish the teacher was more energetic. She seems to be just taking it as a given that because we are in this class, we care about journalism and will find the excitement on our own. Enter me, and a few others, only taking this class because it's required for some non-journalism degree or certificate. Those of us who are only showing up for the grade could use a shot in the arm--hell, so could those who want to be journalists. Who couldn't use some fucking ENTHUSIASM once in a while, even if it's for a subject they're already crazy about?
Back when I was an Accounting major, I had to take a business elective, and I chose Principles of Marketing. From the very first class, Ms. Waldron came in and woke us all right the hell up. From that very first class, I knew I was in the wrong major. Almost every class had enthusiasm, excitement, ENERGY. The students who were already into marketing ate it up, and those of us who weren't ate it up even more. Every class was "This is how you combine psychology, design, and business to show people how much they NEED YOUR PRODUCT!"
Journalism is an exciting topic, or at least it should be. Reporting the hard facts! Unveiling conspiracies! Digging up the truth! COME ON PEOPLE! Every class should be "This is how you slap people in the face with THE TRUTH!"
Instead, it's "Okay, this is how we write a lead. This is how the second paragraph should look. This is how the newsroom works." All things we need to learn, introduced in the most docile of ways.
We do have to practice what we're taught, which is good. As much as I hate it, I will have to turn in not just one, but TWO articles for the student newspaper this semester, and finish off the class by presenting a story idea for next year's class to work on. I don't want to be a journalist, it's not for me, I don't like having to interview people and all that, but I'm glad we have these assignments. This is how we learn how to be journalists--by acting like one.
Except, again, it's docile. At the beginning of yesterday's class, the teacher invited those of us without story ideas to come to her afterward for some ideas. I managed to pick up an assignment: the Wednesday after next, I get to attend the Meet Your Presidents & Deans meeting, and chronicle what goes on there--the remarks each person makes, and what goes on in the Question & Answer period.
....WOW! NOW we're getting to the SEXY stuff! HOPE I DON'T GET ARRESTED AT THE ENSUING RIOT!
I know, I'm being harsh. But this is the most humdrum introduction to journalism I could ever imagine. I know not every reporter gets to run around interviewing celebrities or politicians, go undercover into a major company's skeevy underbelly, or investigate crime...but this is just...*snore*
I know this subject, this path, is not for me. But there might be someone at MCC who it is right for, and all they need is a wake up call to realize it. If they take this class, they will not receive that wake up call. And that makes me sad.
Friday, October 16, 2009
How This Week Went (And Will Continue To Go):
MONDAY
[x] work at 11
[x] update Ru Stitchery
[x] work out
[x] dinner with Dad, give back CDs
TUESDAY
[x] class at 12:30 (freaking library session which will be my sixth identical session since attending MCC but I can't skip because there's an assignment given out at the end GRAW)
[x] start learning Illustrator in Computer Graphics!
[x] sushi for dinner! \^.^/
WEDNESDAY
[x] Stephanie at 11
[x] deposit paycheck (if not done Tuesday/or else do Thursday)
[x] pick up Guru and drop off Catsy's plate) (if not done Tuesday)
[x] gas up the car
[x] work at 1
[x] work out
THURSDAY
[x] pick up prescription
[x] no Reporting class today!
[x] class at 3
FRIDAY
[x] NO WORK!
[x] play WoW all day with Ryan, leveling my Paladin and his Druid
Plans for the rest of the weekend:
SATURDAY*
[o] NO WORK!
[o] set the alarm for 6 AM anyway JUST SO I CAN SHUT IT OFF AND GO BACK TO SLEEP OH WHAT BLISS
[o] see Where The Wild Things Are with Mom and Ryan
[o] spend some time at the Ren Faire with David, possibly with Ryan as well!
[o] dinner with David, Gay, and Heidi
* Everything after the alarm is dependent on weather. The word "Nor'easter" keeps bouncing around, and Weather.com's radar map shows a blob of blue and pink, and the prediction for tomorrow says "PM showers." Yesterday's "PM showers" turned into rain and snow (in freaking OCTOBER, THANK YOU NEW ENGLAND), so at this point there is no weather tomorrow that would surprise me beyond sunny.
Sunday
[o] Breakfast with Mom
[o] Laundry at "home"/Mom's house
[o] Watch No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency with Mom
[o] Home/Ryan's by 4 PM
[o] Dungeons & Dragons
[o] Finish homework
Next week is back to normal, which is both a plus and a minus. Nice to shake it up a bit, and I had a few more money-earning hours than usual, and a couple of days off that I almost never get...but sometimes the same old routine is comfortable for a reason.
[x] work at 11
[x] update Ru Stitchery
[x] work out
[x] dinner with Dad, give back CDs
TUESDAY
[x] class at 12:30 (freaking library session which will be my sixth identical session since attending MCC but I can't skip because there's an assignment given out at the end GRAW)
[x] start learning Illustrator in Computer Graphics!
[x] sushi for dinner! \^.^/
WEDNESDAY
[x] Stephanie at 11
[x] deposit paycheck (if not done Tuesday/or else do Thursday)
[x] pick up Guru and drop off Catsy's plate) (if not done Tuesday)
[x] gas up the car
[x] work at 1
[x] work out
THURSDAY
[x] pick up prescription
[x] no Reporting class today!
[x] class at 3
FRIDAY
[x] NO WORK!
[x] play WoW all day with Ryan, leveling my Paladin and his Druid
Plans for the rest of the weekend:
SATURDAY*
[o] NO WORK!
[o] set the alarm for 6 AM anyway JUST SO I CAN SHUT IT OFF AND GO BACK TO SLEEP OH WHAT BLISS
[o] see Where The Wild Things Are with Mom and Ryan
[o] spend some time at the Ren Faire with David, possibly with Ryan as well!
[o] dinner with David, Gay, and Heidi
* Everything after the alarm is dependent on weather. The word "Nor'easter" keeps bouncing around, and Weather.com's radar map shows a blob of blue and pink, and the prediction for tomorrow says "PM showers." Yesterday's "PM showers" turned into rain and snow (in freaking OCTOBER, THANK YOU NEW ENGLAND), so at this point there is no weather tomorrow that would surprise me beyond sunny.
Sunday
[o] Breakfast with Mom
[o] Laundry at "home"/Mom's house
[o] Watch No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency with Mom
[o] Home/Ryan's by 4 PM
[o] Dungeons & Dragons
[o] Finish homework
Next week is back to normal, which is both a plus and a minus. Nice to shake it up a bit, and I had a few more money-earning hours than usual, and a couple of days off that I almost never get...but sometimes the same old routine is comfortable for a reason.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
My Random Opinion on Education That No One Asked For, Part One
Let me start by saying this: I am not a teacher. I could never be a teacher, for the simple fact that I can't teach for beans. I have never taken a single course in education.
Let me also get the obvious Three Things That Need To Change In America's Education System out of the way:
[1] BETTER FUNDING
[2] BETTER FUNDING
[3] BETTER FUNDING
It is nothing less than disgusting that we as a nation will go on and on about how Children Are Our Future, Children Are Our Nation's Resource, Teaching Is The Most Noble Profession, then pay our teachers, the ones in charge of building up this resource, jack diddly. We spend around $60 billion on Education, and over $500 billion on Defense--and that's BEFORE the befricked War On Terror (source)(yes, it's Wikipedia, but it's backed up here).
Can we all agree that this is outrageous? Disgusting? Stupid?
Okay then. Moving on.
My first issue with the education system is Time.
I'm about to piss off about half the teachers I know and talk to when I say this: Summer vacation can go away now.
*ducks*
Am I saying that all vacation needs to go away? No. I'm saying that we don't need so much of it in a row.
Summer vacation came about because the extra help was needed on farms during planting and harvesting seasons. Farming communities had breaks in the spring and fall, while urban schools were almost non-stop. This was averaged out in the 1840's, with the summer months being a natural compromise--students weren't crammed into buildings in the hottest months of the year, and they were able to help out back at home. Plus, no student got more or less education than any other student.
Today, there are more workers and better technology that lessen the needs of child labor on farms; there's central heating and air conditioning systems that keep schools comfortable; finally, there are about a zillion more activities vying for a kid's time, attention, and energy.
An average day for someone in middle or high school can mean getting up before sunrise, maybe practice for a sports team before school starts, classes from early morning to mid afternoon (possibly with some extracurricular activity taking up time at lunch), practice or rehearsal until dinner time (or later), then homework and studying for the next day. Squeeze in there spending time with friends and family, chores and errands, any extra projects or papers that require even more study time, maybe a part-time job to earn money for college or car expenses, maybe volunteering to pad the college application, and on and on. There are barely enough hours to get everything done, let alone to get the amount of sleep that the average adolescent needs--which anyone who has ever been, raised, or even known an adolescent knows is A DAMNED LOT.
I'll get back to sleep in just a second. I want to stick to my current point: time requirements.
The school year is 180 days, give or take. The school day is about seven hours. That's a grand total of 1,260 hours in the entire school year. 180 days also hold 4,320 hours, meaning school takes up "only" 3% of the time. Doesn't seem like a whole lot does it? Especially considering the amount of material teachers have to squeeze into every hour.
So, seven hours a day on school. If you're out of luck and don't have a car, you're on the bus up to two hours just to get to school; if you have a car, you might luck out with a half-hour commute. Add to that an hour to wake up and get ready in the morning.
Practice, rehearsal, or club meetings take anywhere from one hour to four, before or after school; let's average it to 2.5 hours. Getting home can take anywhere from half an hour to two hours (the morning reversed). Then another 2-3 hours for homework.
Prep/Commute: ~2 hours
School: 7 hours
Extracurriculars: 2.5 hours
Commute: ~1 hour
Homework: 2.5 hours
Total Active Time Per School Day: 18 hours
Over 180 Days: 3,240 hours--75% of the total hours
And again, I'm leaving out social time, extra study time, part-time jobs, volunteer hours, chores and errands, etc. Not to mention the point I will now return to: SLEEP
The average teenager needs around 10 hours of sleep, and their natural tendency is to sleep from early morning (1 or 2 a.m.) to late morning or early afternoon. Take one look at the average teenager's schedule, however, and you'll see that this just doesn't happen. It is impossible. After an 18+ hour day, you've only got six hours for sleeping. I had many classmates who bragged about their ability to "function" on less than four hours. This is not healthy, and it's not conducive to retaining information on anything more than a "regurgitation" basis (learn it long enough to spit it back out on a test).
Make the school year longer, you get more hours and more opportunity to learn what you need to learn. There's less stress to get through a unit by such and such a date so you can move on to the next unit, then the next, then the next. School days can be shorter, leaving more time for extracurricular activities, studying, and sleeping.
Everyone gets more of the time they desperately need, plus the added bonus of teachers getting more paid hours. It's a win-win situation.
The biggest problem: finding the times in the year for shorter vacations that work around major holidays. I'm working on this as a side project. Because I'm weird like that.
Let me also get the obvious Three Things That Need To Change In America's Education System out of the way:
[1] BETTER FUNDING
[2] BETTER FUNDING
[3] BETTER FUNDING
It is nothing less than disgusting that we as a nation will go on and on about how Children Are Our Future, Children Are Our Nation's Resource, Teaching Is The Most Noble Profession, then pay our teachers, the ones in charge of building up this resource, jack diddly. We spend around $60 billion on Education, and over $500 billion on Defense--and that's BEFORE the befricked War On Terror (source)(yes, it's Wikipedia, but it's backed up here).
Can we all agree that this is outrageous? Disgusting? Stupid?
Okay then. Moving on.
My first issue with the education system is Time.
I'm about to piss off about half the teachers I know and talk to when I say this: Summer vacation can go away now.
*ducks*
Am I saying that all vacation needs to go away? No. I'm saying that we don't need so much of it in a row.
Summer vacation came about because the extra help was needed on farms during planting and harvesting seasons. Farming communities had breaks in the spring and fall, while urban schools were almost non-stop. This was averaged out in the 1840's, with the summer months being a natural compromise--students weren't crammed into buildings in the hottest months of the year, and they were able to help out back at home. Plus, no student got more or less education than any other student.
Today, there are more workers and better technology that lessen the needs of child labor on farms; there's central heating and air conditioning systems that keep schools comfortable; finally, there are about a zillion more activities vying for a kid's time, attention, and energy.
An average day for someone in middle or high school can mean getting up before sunrise, maybe practice for a sports team before school starts, classes from early morning to mid afternoon (possibly with some extracurricular activity taking up time at lunch), practice or rehearsal until dinner time (or later), then homework and studying for the next day. Squeeze in there spending time with friends and family, chores and errands, any extra projects or papers that require even more study time, maybe a part-time job to earn money for college or car expenses, maybe volunteering to pad the college application, and on and on. There are barely enough hours to get everything done, let alone to get the amount of sleep that the average adolescent needs--which anyone who has ever been, raised, or even known an adolescent knows is A DAMNED LOT.
I'll get back to sleep in just a second. I want to stick to my current point: time requirements.
The school year is 180 days, give or take. The school day is about seven hours. That's a grand total of 1,260 hours in the entire school year. 180 days also hold 4,320 hours, meaning school takes up "only" 3% of the time. Doesn't seem like a whole lot does it? Especially considering the amount of material teachers have to squeeze into every hour.
So, seven hours a day on school. If you're out of luck and don't have a car, you're on the bus up to two hours just to get to school; if you have a car, you might luck out with a half-hour commute. Add to that an hour to wake up and get ready in the morning.
Practice, rehearsal, or club meetings take anywhere from one hour to four, before or after school; let's average it to 2.5 hours. Getting home can take anywhere from half an hour to two hours (the morning reversed). Then another 2-3 hours for homework.
Prep/Commute: ~2 hours
School: 7 hours
Extracurriculars: 2.5 hours
Commute: ~1 hour
Homework: 2.5 hours
Total Active Time Per School Day: 18 hours
Over 180 Days: 3,240 hours--75% of the total hours
And again, I'm leaving out social time, extra study time, part-time jobs, volunteer hours, chores and errands, etc. Not to mention the point I will now return to: SLEEP
The average teenager needs around 10 hours of sleep, and their natural tendency is to sleep from early morning (1 or 2 a.m.) to late morning or early afternoon. Take one look at the average teenager's schedule, however, and you'll see that this just doesn't happen. It is impossible. After an 18+ hour day, you've only got six hours for sleeping. I had many classmates who bragged about their ability to "function" on less than four hours. This is not healthy, and it's not conducive to retaining information on anything more than a "regurgitation" basis (learn it long enough to spit it back out on a test).
Make the school year longer, you get more hours and more opportunity to learn what you need to learn. There's less stress to get through a unit by such and such a date so you can move on to the next unit, then the next, then the next. School days can be shorter, leaving more time for extracurricular activities, studying, and sleeping.
Everyone gets more of the time they desperately need, plus the added bonus of teachers getting more paid hours. It's a win-win situation.
The biggest problem: finding the times in the year for shorter vacations that work around major holidays. I'm working on this as a side project. Because I'm weird like that.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Dear People At My School,
You are not hot shit enough to text while driving. I'm sorry. You're just not. Please stop now before you run me over instead of ALMOST running me over.
Also, I don't want to hear your music. The fact that I can hear it so clearly while you're wearing headphones just makes me worry for your hearing. But I don't worry too much, because I no longer give a shit about you because GOD DAMN YOU'RE ANNOYING.
I also don't want to hear your phone conversations. No. Really. I don't. No one does. And that stupid freaking Push-To-Talk function? Is not meant for inane conversation about cats and babies. No. Really. It's not.
Lastly, to that chick from last week: The place to take a cell phone picture of a rainbow in the sky is NOT AT THE ON-RAMP TO 1-84 WHERE CARS HAVE TO MERGE TWICE WITHIN A 100 FOOT SPAN. NO. REALLY. IT'S NOT.
NO LOVE WHATSOEVER,
RuLaReJo
(Can we find an island somewhere and put all these drive-texting, music-blasting, self-important morons on it and leave them there? Please? PLEASE?)
Edit at 2:41 PM
Dear Lab Monitor in Mac Lab
It wasn't bad enough that you were 20 minutes late opening the lab for the ONE open hour it has all day (and, I think, only showing up at all because I happened to notify my mother, who happens to be the boss of the computer labs, who happened to text back minutes later with a note ending with "Grr"), but do you now have to entertain the people in here with your cell phone conversation? How are you even getting reception in here when I can't send a freaking text message?
I do not wish to be "entertained" with the antics at last night's "hot-ass party". Not even if I have the imagined hyphen wrong and it was, instead, a "hot ass-party." Not even then.
Signed
Lowly Student Who Just Wants to Work On Her Photoshop Project Before Class
Also, I don't want to hear your music. The fact that I can hear it so clearly while you're wearing headphones just makes me worry for your hearing. But I don't worry too much, because I no longer give a shit about you because GOD DAMN YOU'RE ANNOYING.
I also don't want to hear your phone conversations. No. Really. I don't. No one does. And that stupid freaking Push-To-Talk function? Is not meant for inane conversation about cats and babies. No. Really. It's not.
Lastly, to that chick from last week: The place to take a cell phone picture of a rainbow in the sky is NOT AT THE ON-RAMP TO 1-84 WHERE CARS HAVE TO MERGE TWICE WITHIN A 100 FOOT SPAN. NO. REALLY. IT'S NOT.
NO LOVE WHATSOEVER,
RuLaReJo
(Can we find an island somewhere and put all these drive-texting, music-blasting, self-important morons on it and leave them there? Please? PLEASE?)
Edit at 2:41 PM
Dear Lab Monitor in Mac Lab
It wasn't bad enough that you were 20 minutes late opening the lab for the ONE open hour it has all day (and, I think, only showing up at all because I happened to notify my mother, who happens to be the boss of the computer labs, who happened to text back minutes later with a note ending with "Grr"), but do you now have to entertain the people in here with your cell phone conversation? How are you even getting reception in here when I can't send a freaking text message?
I do not wish to be "entertained" with the antics at last night's "hot-ass party". Not even if I have the imagined hyphen wrong and it was, instead, a "hot ass-party." Not even then.
Signed
Lowly Student Who Just Wants to Work On Her Photoshop Project Before Class
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