What What's Goin' On Means

As mentioned in my previous post, a week ago I gave myself a good verbal thumping. The law, it was laid down. After a stern lecture, comforting words, and reassuring hug, I made up some new rules for myself. Though they are few, they are important, and they are as follows:

[o] When I get up in the morning, no World of Warcraft until some exercise has occurred. It could be a handful of pushups, it could be an hour-long strength-training routine, but it will happen. I may soon further the restriction to just plain no internet until exercising. We shall see.

[o] Around 11, take a melatonin or some chamomile tea, and start winding down for bed. Get offline at midnight or soon after.

[o] Alarm is set for 9 a.m. every day (except Saturday, when I have work at 7 and need to get up at 6). If I don’t get to sleep until later, or the quality of sleep is severely lacking, move the alarm down to 10:30, but no later.

Hopefully the combination of early to bed and early to rise will swing my sleep schedule back to what I want it to be, which is not 3 a.m. to sometime past noon.

[o] Start the process of getting my life moving. Apply to Eastern (done on Tuesday!), put together a resume, start for either a second job or a new job.

I love Curves, but it’s becoming too comfortable, in too many ways to get into. Not to mention, I currently have fewer than 15 hours a week, and make barely over $200 a month. At the moment, I’m lucky enough to not have a lot of expenses to worry about. This will not always be the case, and I need to get myself into a job with more responsibilities at least, if not more of a future. Also, I have no savings to speak of, and that’s just unacceptable.

[o] Amp up the social. During this past funk, the only personal interaction I had, outside of work and school, was my weekly dinner with my father. This is simply not enough—hell, Dad would even agree! I am going to make a serious attempt to have more breakfasts with my mother, more lunches with friends, and try to find another meal in there somewhere with Dad. Will this be easy, with my complicated schedule? A-no. Will it be worth it, in terms of laughter, communication, support, love, and overall good times? Hell. Yes.

As I said, not many rules, but I’m working very hard at following them. Sadly, this week has so far not worked out according to plan. The shitty weather and minor health issues have combined their efforts to drain me of energy, both mental and physical, and yesterday was the first one this week where I actually worked out (although I did Body Test Monday and Tuesday to keep up an accurate record of measurements). I didn’t go to class Monday or Tuesday, either. While I did have a few hours of work on Monday, I left an hour early with an uneasy stomach. That same stomach deprived me of decent sleep for three nights in a row (although Tuesday night was definitely better than previous nights), and only really settled down Wednesday morning.

I won’t call this week a bust, because there’s still two days left before the weekend, which should be nice. Today I have work, see my therapist, and have my first and only class for the week; tomorrow I have work, dinner with my father (the first in two weeks), and possibly see an art show my friend has put together in Windham. Saturday, Ryan and I celebrate our two-year anniversary*. Sunday is a memorial for my Uncle Bill, who died a year ago—with my family, it promises to be lovely, with fun and laughter among the tears and memories.

While the rest of the week is not guaranteed to be wonderful, it is neither guaranteed to be lousy, and I must remember that.

*Ryan’s and my anniversary is, officially, February 29th, a.k.a. Leap Day. That is my fault. I thought it was cute at the time, and I’ll have to live with it. Last year we celebrated on March 1st, as my father’s birthday is the 28th and taking that day to celebrate would be just a wee bit selfish. This year, March 1st is a Monday, which includes class for me, and one Justin’s weekly visits and an important raid for Ryan. So: Saturday the 27th.

There we go. My new rules, and too much background to go with them. The usual for me.

I like this posting-multiple-days-in-a-row thing, maybe I’ll see how long I can keep it up...