Working and Dinner and Michigan, Oh My!

Sonova--! I did it again! Argh!

So, on Saturday I wrote about having just two of us and getting slammed until another partner arrived? Well, yesterday was the same, except I was the partner that arrived to save the drive-thru person. I then spent the rest of my shit going out of my mind with my co-worker, both of us laughing like loons and acting completely insane. :)

Then Ryan and I both got home, and he asked if we had any white wine for his dinner idea. We did not, and Indiana doesn't sell alcohol on Sundays, BUT! Michigan does! And the state line is only 5 minutes from my work! So Sameh and Ryan and I piled into my car and went to Michigan to visit a liquor store and Wal*Mart (our first time in one since Connecticut. It was the same. Surprise, surprise.). Then we came home and Ryan made a ridiculously delicious dinner involving olive oil, garlic, three peppers (red, orange, and yellow), the aforementioned white wine, chicken, and linguine. OMF.

We watched The Forbidden Kingdom as we watched, a fun movie with Jackie Chan and Jet Li doing what they do best.

Today is going to be long. Yesterday morning I woke up and was unable to breathe through my nose. Today I woke up with clear nostrils, but a sore throat. And I have an eight hour shift. Yay!

It's funny, over the past two months my hours have been cut so much that I've gotten used to shifts being only six hours, or even shorter. Now the full length ones feel like an eternity. Oy.

Our area has a Winter Weather Warning for tomorrow, soooo that'll be fun, too! :D

The Five Hour Shift That Felt Like Twelve.

Today was...strange.

First, it was stupid busy in bursts. One of the bursts happened after one partner left, half an hour before the next was to arrive, with just Boss Lady and me on the floor. She had constant front, I had constant drive-thru, no chance to help each other, UGH.

Another rush, I screwed us over making a drink with the wrong syrup, backing us up for five cars. The tail end of that one had a woman who, when asked if there was anything else, said "No. Oh, wait a second," before driving away. o.O

The last rush before I left, we got a customer who was....no, talkative isn't the right word. I don't think the right word exists. From the moment I opened the window, she didn't stop talking to me, and talked so fast and muttered so much that I couldn't follow what she was going on about at all, except she ended half the sentences with "you know what I mean?" so I had to try and fake a response. A few minutes after she finally pulled away, I looked out the window and saw that she was pulled into a spot next to a cop car, talking in the parking lot with a policeman holding a bunch of papers. They both eventually drove away peacefully, so I have no clue what that was about...

My second to last customer could either pay for her $10 gift card with a $50 or a stack of coins (I opted for the coins), and my last customers all but demanded that I greet them at the window with a smile before they even pulled up. I promise, I didn't sound grouchy or annoyed or mopey, I just sounded normal!

Oy.

Now I'm home alone until six when Ryan gets home, my only company the cat who is acting completely insane. I just had a delicious bowl of chicken noodle soup since I arrived home cold and starving.

I got kinda crap sleep last night, and my knee is hurting more despite babying it and wearing a brace for my whole shift, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nice hot shower and open a Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade and FREAKING RELAX.

Hum De Dum.

Man, I am just so bad at updating this week.

Yesterday was a good day, although not very exciting to write about. I slept, I watched TV, I did a ton of laundry, Ryan and I ran errands, we hung out with the roommates, etc.

The best part of the day was that it was my mom's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM! :D

Today's plan:
[o] go to bank
[o] go to my Starbucks
[o] clean our room
[o] take & play with pictures

Today's direct deposit from Starbucks is the second of the two "bad" paychecks we've been anticipating from our weeks of being sick. I can't wait for this month to be over, and money to no longer be the sword hanging over our heads. I mean, the money situation is never going to be super fantastic right now, but it's been worse this past month. Oy.

Off I go to start the day!

Stabby Stabby.

Today was an earlier day, what with work at 10:30. Not a bad day, though, had a fun time working with many of my favorite co-workers :)

I'm currently back in my 'Bux even though I got off at 4. Realized during my shift that, since Ryan works 4:30 to 10 tonight, and both roomies are closing, it'd be very quieti and lonely at home, and might be a good night to write at my store. Wish I had realized this before I left for work so I could have brought my laptop and a change of clothes instead of requiring a trip home and back, BUT...here I am, stabbing at the word processor page as best I can.

It's a bit of hard going. There are so many important pieces of information that the reader needs before the climax, and the climax relies heavily on me pulling off the first part of the story exactly right, and I need to find a way to give the information without straight-up telling it OR ruining the climax, and it's so very delicate and difficult and dsflkdjsfldsj.

Phew.

4,442 words in, still in love with it and willing to keep banging my head against it until I get it right. Found still needs editing and rewriting and all that, but this one (tentatively titled On The/Running, yes with the slash), stays on the front burner until I'm satisfied that I've gotten a solid start on it, and not just the few half-hearted stabs.

Tomorrow I get to drag a metric fuckton of laundry up and down stairs, and go to the bank, and try to mail a package, and finish my antibiotics, and take some more pictures, and harass Ryan about the chiropractor, etc etc etc. I have the next two days off, and they are going to be glorious. GLORIOUS, I TELL YOU.

Oh, and my knee continues to improve. I forgot the knee brace at home this morning, but Ryan was lovely enough to bring it in to me, and I now thoroughly believe him that it should just stay on until the bruise goes away. I may not limp anymore, and the brace actually seems to shift what the discomfort more to my shin, but it's still better overall.

Right then, back to work...

Behold...The Knee!

The knee continues to hurt. I hobbled around with a soft brace on for my six hour shift, and it actually really helped and made it feel a lot better. I'm hoping I won't need the brace tomorrow, but I'll be bringing it along just in case!

Today was slow and busy, on and off.

Came home, cleaned the hell out of the house, got dinner, hung out with Sameh, BJ, and Aurelie when she came over. Watched bad TV and generally hung out and had fun :)

Tomorrow is an early but short shift, and then it's two days off with my honey. Yay!

For now: sleeeeeep...

Whatever You Do, Don't Ask Me If It Was Worth It.

At Starbucks, each bar (area with espresso machine, syrups, and milk pitchers) is accompanied by an area with two faucets: one with cold water, one with hot. At my store, the hot water faucet that goes with front bar is broken, but the back one works. You need hot water to make an Americano.

I'm making an Americano at the front bar. I hit the button to pull the shots, pick up the cup, and dash to the back bar's hot water faucet to get water in the cup. Almost there, my right foot hits a wet patch and shoots out in front of me, and I do a split that ends with my left knee slamming into the tile.

I get up, get the hot water into the cup, and dash back to the front bar in time for the shots to pull, meaning I didn't waste anything.

I now have a large, swollen purple bruise just under my left knee. Also, have you ever had the sensation of a bone trying to cramp? IT'S FREAKING CREEPY. Stupid nerves...

Meanwhile, I'm exhausted and very hungry and had a bad day with my phone and a certain shift supervisor, so I think I can be forgiven for moving the cat out of the room when he just wouldn't shut up and just wanting to eat and sleep, thank you very much.

Life. Stuff. Meh?

I did it again and completely forgot to update yesterday. Yargh!

Nothing really special about either day, so far. Work, Bones, stuff. I got crap sleep last night and had to get up at 7:30. I'm about to head off to do some shopping before ambushing Ryan when he gets off work. Hum de dum.

In other news, I've been putting up pictures over on my phototumblr :D

Okay, time to get out of work clothes and get into something comfy and head off, la de da...

Ryan's Rule #6,206: Haircuts Make Everything Better.

This was my day:

[o] Get up feeling all stressed out about stuff
[o] Get a pep talk from Ryan
[o] Get a haircut
[o] Work for three hours
[o] End the shift with an entire cheerleading squad who both don't know what they want and are unable to hear when their drink is called out
[o] Eat pizza and drink Smirnoff

The rest of the household is raiding for the rest of the night, so I'm going to do one of two things: try and write some more, or photoedit some more.

Tomorrow begins a no doubt hellish weekend. District manager is coming on Monday and "hanging around" (???) until Tuesday or Wednesday, so the store is getting cleaned within an inch of our lives. Did I mention I work several hours on Sunday with the rule-mongering shift? Starting at 8:30 in the morning? Yeah. FUNTIMES.

For now, however, it's another Smirnoff and attempts at creativity. Woo!

Marbles and Dragons and Pride, Oh My!

Forgot to post yesterday--sorry about that! It was a normal sort of a day, I guess--got up, went to work, came home, showered, ate dinner, watched Bones with roommate & boyfriend. The only things that were different from the norm were my health, my mood, and dinner.

My health was really good! I mean, I was (and still am) sniffly and drippy and sneezy and all that fun nose stuff, but ENERGY! OMIGOD! Not only did I make myself breakfast, I did dishes! I cleared the sidewalk of ice while my car was warming up! I didn't feel like there were cement blocks tied to my feet! WOW!

Of course, half an hour into my shift, some customer did something snotty--I don't even remember what it was now--and my mood plummeted. I spent the rest of the shift feeling bitter and rageful toward all my customers. Grrr.

Dinner was something Ryan had never cooked before--pork! He had expressed some boredom with chicken the last time we were grocery shopping, and got a big ol' package of pork medallions to play around with. After some fiddling and thinking, he made us pork-fried rice, and it was delicious. Huzzah!

Today has been spent at the desk, first taking over 130 pictures, then playing with them until I had 14 pieces of art that I am extremely proud of. I used my two favorite macro-shot props: the necklace Auntie M sent me for my birthday this past year, and the marbles David sent me for my "novel photo shoot." I also had my most favorite photography tool of all time: bright sunlight streaming in through the window.

They ended up with almost a fantasy theme, the marbles taking the parts of the sun, the moon, the sky, etc, and the coil doing its best to play a dragon's tail. The best parts of some of the pictures, the gorgeous colors within the marbles, are almost entirely untouched in Photostop, which is humbling in an odd way. Still--very happy!

I'll be posting them on the photo tumblr over the next few days. This past month of sickness (mine and Ryan's) combined with the full time job have made me rethink the take-a-picture-every-day rule. I'm still going to try, but I'm also going to stop considering it "cheating" if I post a picture I didn't take that specific day. I'll try to at least photoedit it that day, but even then...some days, it's just not going to happen. I hate it, but there it is.

Ryan and I are off to do some errands, and then it's another night of watching Bones with da roommates. Tomorrow is mostly a day off, with a three-hour shift in the evening to cover a partner. Huzzah, three more hours for my paycheck!

On The Up And Up.

What I did today: slept in, buggered about for a while, took a shower, went to the grocery store, got dinner, came home, have spent the past two hours buggering around the internet and attempting to write some more. I got as far as downloading an application called Dark Room, a full-screen writing program that shuts out other distractions. Spent a little while tinkering with the preferences, but I feel a little scattered and unable to concentrate. Poop.

Health-wise, I'm feeling much better. My nose hurts more for some reason, but it's less drippy, and my throat feels less sore and swollen. I feel confident about going back to work, and might even see if anyone wants to give me their shift on one of my days off to make up some hours.

The next two paychecks for us are going to be...well, pathetic. Ryan's will barely have 20 hours, mine will barely have 40 unless I can pick up some hours. Being sick enough to call out of work not only sucks for the spirits, but for the bank account!

Ah well. We'll manage. I'm very upbeat right now due to feeling healthier than I have in weeks, let's hope I can ride the optimistic wave through to full health! :D

Of course, BJ is getting sicker now--no voice and a pink eye diagnosis of his very own--but he saw the doctor tonight, and this will hopefully be the last of it for the household!

Is This Over Yet? Because I'm Done!

Today was fun. I went to work at 1, and by around 2 it hurt to breathe a little bit. As I put it to Ryan, it felt like my lungs were wearing clothing that still had pins in them, and breathing--especially deep breaths--made the pins prick.

It was pretty minor, although it was accompanied by fatigue, which isn't surprising. Moving too far or too fast would exhaust me, and bending over made everything much worse.

Fortunately, my hours were already cut, so I didn't have to work the full eight hours. Ryan talked me out of going to the clinic, since I still had the prescription I got from last week for an antibiotic, which is exactly what I would get from a clinic doctor. We filled it tonight, I start it tomorrow morning.

I'm actually already feeling much better, although deep breaths still feel very uncomfortable, and of course my head is full of goo. Also my throat feels swollen, inside and out.

Basically, I'm sick. Surprise!

Ireland people are dying for hours, and when I asked about leaving even earlier, Boss Lady offered to get someone to cover my shift for tomorrow, so...what the hell. Next paycheck is going to suck that much more, but I'll get that much more rest and get healthy. And I can tell my body really wants rest--not only has my sleep been pretty crappy for going on three weeks (two weeks of sleeping next to a very sick person, one week of being a sick person), but I wake up and crave more sleep in a way that isn't normal for me.

So, tomorrow I get more sleep, and the day after that I go back to work. Whee.

I Want My Cranium Back.

I spent today with a head full of goo. I had another night of sleep interrupted by a drippy nose. I was tired and cranky at almost every single customer I came across.

A couple of co-workers and I had made plans to go out tonight when we were all free, to drink and study (or, in my case, write). By the time my shift was done...so was I. I hated cancelling--I really, really wanted to socialize!--but I was just...done.

Tomorrow I work 1 to 9:30, and hopefully this means I can get a good amount of sleep. I'm looking forward to it.

Same Ol', Same Ol'.

Still sickish and pretty tired, but pretty good otherwise. Work was mostly slow, and I got to leave an hour early. Dinner is almost done, then Ryan and I watch some more Bones (our current series addiction), then bed.

Tomorrow is a six hour day, and then it's Monday and another week is on the run. I'm hoping my health keeps going up!

Again, This Was Inevitable, Really...

Well, it finally happened. BJ, our roommate and last healthy person in the apartment, has succumbed to the plague. He has a fever and a sore throat and is currently sacked out on the couch. Why, I'm not sure, but there it is. Ryan's at work, and Sameh's still asleep, so I'm the only awake person in the house. Woo?

Felt better last night, so I texted the co-worker who needed her shift covered, who no longer needed it covered. I was then awake half the night solely because of my drippy nose, getting up several times to either attempt to quietly blow it (so as not to wake Ryan), or go into the hallway and really blow it. Pretty miserable night. And, thanks to our room being very warm and dry, even with a fan, every single tissue I use ends up some shade of red or pink. Yay.

Otherwise, I'm okay. My throat still feels swollen and sore, but it's definitely going away. The dripping nose is even better for the moment, I think mostly because there can't possibly be anything left in there. Still, I've learned my lesson: never try to bluff your cold. It may get worse on you just to prove whose boss.

In other, non-sick news, I played with Photoshop quite a bit yesterday. You can see what I did over here at my phototumblr. I may continue experimenting today....:D

Better...For Now?...

This has been, and continues to be, an extremely obnoxious cold virus. Spent Tuesday on the couch, riding the hot flashes and chills of a fever, feeling exhausted and aching, ending the night feeling almost human again. Within a couple of hours of getting up yesterday, I realized that not going to work was a very wise decision, as trying to work while exhausted, weak, and aching would have been pointless and miserable. The fever returned in the evening, only to go away again by bedtime. No fever today, but the ache in my neck comes and goes, my nose is very drippy, and my ear continues to painfully let me know it's there, as it has since last night.

This has also been the grossest cold I've ever had to deal with. Every sneeze is...productive. And you don't want to know about the cough yesterday that helped me breathe better. EW.

On the upside, again, there's currently no fever, and I don't feel nearly as tired or weak as I did yesterday. My head hurts from congestion and sinus pressure, but at least it's no longer my entire face, as it was last night. Overall, I am feeling better. I don't trust it, but there it is.

I hate that it's been so up and down, though. I have a co-worker trying to get her shift covered tomorrow night so she can take her not-quite-one-year-old kid to his father's without passing him off to a relative he doesn't know well. I'd be happy to take the shift--hell, I've had three days off now, why do I need a fourth? Plus, hi money I've lost this week!--but I don't trust my immune system one bit right now. And if there's one thing I've learned over the past two weeks, trying to get my shifts covered so I could first take Ryan to the doctor, and then take care of myself, it's that having someone answer with "Yes, I can do that for you," can be a freaking miracle. I have a much greater appreciate for that, and I want to be able to do more of it myself if called upon. But if I did it now, and I went sick again tomorrow, it would screw over even more people. I hate that.

Ergh.

Anyway. Trying to get some writing done today, but I can't seem to get started. Feel up to doing laundry, but waiting for Ryan to get home so I can get his work clothes (and so he can help haul clothes if I start flagging again). If I'm feeling even better tonight, I may even get us wrapping and packing presents finally. I really hate that we won't be getting presents to people until almost a month after Christmas >.< At least we didn't send germs to anyone?

Oh well. Wish me luck with my tasks. The calls and comments and such have been very appreciated this week :)

Second Sick Day From Starbucks.

Well, my fever's down today, but I still feel very weak and tired, and definitely not up to what work would demand of me.

Yesterday, when Other Store Manager called back to let me know I was covered for the day, she mentioned covering me for today as well. Thing is, I was half awake and couldn't really hear her during the call, so I missed the part about having to call at least two hours before the shift starts. Yesterday I only gave her an hour, then she told me that, and today I gave her an hour and a half, completely unaware of what I was doing. She wasn't awful about it, but she did mention that my Boss Lady would be giving me a coaching conversation about it. So...d'oh, and ouch. I may send a card or cookies or something to Other Store Manager as thanks for not just telling me to suck it up and deal for not remembering the rules.

So, today's mission is to get plenty of fluids and protein and such into my stomach, rest, and maybe be somewhat productive. I don't feel up to big things like laundry (despite it being badly needed), but maybe I can at least pick up the place a little bit. Also a prime opportunity to poke at writing things, eh?

I had Thursday and Friday off "naturally," so I'm ending up with a four day weekend. Going back on Saturday is going to be...interesting.

Health Update for Sickgate 2011.

Went to the doctor. He tested me for strep, came back negative. Said it could be bacterial, most likely viral, but he couldn't tell. Gave me a prescription for antibiotics, which I can fill and take if this starts feeling "different" than a "normal" cold for me, or I have a "real" fever.

I've spent the rest of the day on the love seat in the living room, watching TV while Ryan has forced food and drink at me and overall served my every whim. He's a love.

The fever has slowly been going down, and the aches and pain are getting better. Still, the only way I'm going to work tomorrow is if (a) I no longer have a fever, and (b) I can do all the range of motion I need to work without wincing, screaming, fainting, or otherwise being a baby.

Wish me luck?

I Suppose This Was Inevitable...

I. Feel. Like. Crap.

Before bed, my throat and head were hurting. Swallowing ached from the base my throat up through the roof of my mouth, and my right ear. My neck and back were stiff and painful. Tossed and turned all night, alternating really hot and really cold, barely getting any sleep. Woke up at 9, scheduled to go in at 10:30, and took my temperature: 100.1.

It took a good half an hour of calling around, but I finally was able to contact the store manager in charge of our store while our manager is on vacation, and she basically took over, saying she'd find someone to cover. She called back a little later to ask if she should find someone to cover for tomorrow as well. The current plan is to assume I can't work tomorrow, unless I call tomorrow morning and say otherwise. Sounds good to me.

Woke up and "only" felt like I had a headache, my throat was a little sore, and I was all clammy from the tossing and turning all night. Now that I've stood up, though, and moved around...ugh. Every part of my body feels so heavy, and just sitting here and typing is wearing me out.

Ryan is making me something to eat so I can take some aspirin, then we're going to brave the new snow that's been falling all morning and going to the very same clinic I took him to last Thursday, that we took Sameh to on Sunday. I'm hoping they give me medicine that makes me better right quick.

I'll try to update again later tonight, hopefully with "Man, the stuff they gave me was amazing, I feel better already!" Until then, healthy thoughts sent my way would be very much appreciated...

Blah blah blah health blah blah blah dad blah blah blah woo?

Whups, forgot to update last night. My bad!

Work was work. Six hours. Exhausted. Blah.

Came home, changed, Ryan and I took Sameh to the clinic since her right eye, and the face around it, had swollen to the point where she could no longer see out that eye. Long story short, she's allergic to sulfur, which was in the eye drops the doctor gave her for the pink eye on her first visit on Thursday. YAY. The steroid shot they gave her had her looking almost normal by bedtime, and they gave her antibiotics for the inner ear infection she also has, so she should be up and running in no time. :)

Awesome stuff from yesterday: My dad's old group, Himalayan Voices, was on WAMC (Northeast Public Radio) last night! The program even ended with one of Dad's flute solos. It was SO COOL to hear him on the radio!...even if the announcer did talk over a lot of the flute >.< STILL. It also got Sameh very interested in his music, and singing bowls in general. Yay converts!

I have to run off and get ready for work now, but I'll leave you with this:

I'm back, baby!

Long Hard Day. Yeah.

I worked for a whopping two and a half hours today.

I was scheduled for 1:30. Unfortunately, I'm a dip, and didn't think I needed more than 10 minutes to warm up and clean off my car after two days of nonstop lake effect snow. Needless to say, I was late.

Then, because of this same nonstop snow, we closed at 3:30.

I clocked in around a quarter to two, clocked out around a quarter after four.

And drove home under clear, cloudless, empty skies.

Of course, it's going to start snowing gangbusters again tonight--if it hasn't started already--so I feel a little less guilty about that last part.

Ryan is almost entirely better (yay antibiotics). Sameh, on the other hand, is getting worse. Both eyes now have pink eye, and the right one is swelling, she thinks because of a reaction to the eye drops she put in when the pink eye first appeared. Poor thing...at least her cough seems better!

And now to sleep. Wonder if I'll be able to find my car in the morning...

Yawn.

Not much happened today. It snowed a lot. I made pancakes. It snowed a lot outside. I started the rewrite attempt of Found.

Yawn.

See you tomorrow.

When It Rains...Oh, Did I Mention It's Snowing Again?

So...remember last night's entry, how I said Ryan was feeling much better?

....yyyeahhh. 'Bout that.

He woke up this morning and couldn't open his right eye. When he finally could pry it open, it was blood shot and...gooey. It took all of 30 seconds to convince him that he was going to the clinic.

After all of 30 minutes of filling out paperwork and waiting and seeing the doctor, he had not one, not two, but THREE diagnoses! Conjunctivitis (pink eye) (duh), bronchitis, and an upper respiratory infection!

Went straight to Ryan's Target (right around the corner) so he could talk to someone about his shift tonight. His first-level boss wasn't in, but the next one up was, and she happens to be the same person who gave me her business card when Ryan went to the hospital, asking that I call and let her know that he was okay. She gave him his next two days off (today and Saturday), and renewed Ryan's feelings of job security after having essentially a week's "vacation" from combined days off and calling in sick.

Went to the pharmacy, picked up antibiotics, came home, found out that Sameh--who was already showing symptoms of the same cold--also has pink eye. She just left for the clinic herself, to find out what she already knows and get her own pretty package of antibiotics.

The current household theory is that Horace has been the carrier, as Ryan and Sameh are the two that cuddle him the most...that is, at all. Most of my contact with him is kicking him out of the room after he keeps insisting on attacking the bedding or climbing on our computer towers >.<

ANYWAY. Diagnoses, antibiotics, more time off from work, two days off for the caretaker-girlfriend, and pizza for basically all meals*...it's been a long day for Ryan.

*I was craving the English muffins I bought recently, he was craving pizza, so I made tiny pizzas with the muffins, marinara, mozzarella, a sprinkling of oregano, and, for mine, two sliced olives. Very easy, extremely tasty, I am pretty proud of myself right now.

Edited to add a note to my parents: I am still taking in loads of fluids, vitamin C, and echniacea myself, as well as washing and sanitizing my hands almost constantly. Even considering all that, however, it's still pretty amazing that I haven't gotten sick. Woo!

Rage! Rage! ....Rage?

So...tired...

Woke up at 9 today, enough time to decide if Ryan needed to go to the doctor, and if I needed to call out to get him there. He decided that, if I could find someone to take my shift, he'd like to have me drive him to the clinic. His throat was still extremely sore, and he had a lot of pressure in his head.

Called/texted three people. Two were busy, one slept through all three of my calls. >.<

Ryan said it was fine, and refused to let me just call out and have the store deal with it. I'm not sure I would have been okay with doing that as it is...point is, I went in. I was exhausted and cranky beyond belief, but I went in.

I arrived, warned everyone I was cranky, and prepared myself to be a bitch for the entire day. Not on purpose, just...not trying to put on a fake smile and lie through clenched teeth. Instead, I was nicer and sweeter and more cheerful and charitable than usual.

...confuuuuuused.

BUT. Tomorrow and Friday are my days off! And Ryan is feeling much, MUCH better! He even plans on going to work tomorrow! Huzzah!

I may get real sleep for the time in 2011! WOO!

Just Keep Swimmin', Just Keep Swimmin'...

I am currently even more tired than I was yesterday. I think I might have gotten a bit more sleep...but not by too much. Ryan's fever broke around 5:30, which was of course a good thing. The fact that it woke both of us up was not. Neither of us really got any real sleep last night. Like...at all.

But his fever broke! This is a good thing!

The plan for tomorrow is, if his throat is still really sore, he's going to go to the doctor, with or without my help. Tomorrow would be five straight day of a painfully sore throat, which is just too damned long. He seems much better tonight, though, so...yay.

I was dumb and cranky and pretty much useless for the whopping five hours I worked. Tomorrow is a full eight hour shift, starting at 10:30 in the morning. I'm waking up at 9 to see if Ryan needs me to call out to drive him to the doctor. Obviously, the hope is no.

The hope is also that I don't catch this head cold. It's looking good--I've been drinking a lot of liquids, eating lots of protein, taking lots of vitamin C and echinacea, etc etc. My biggest "symptom" is exhaustion, but that's not necessarily from any illness.

Everything else over the past few days has gone by the wayside. Chores of all kinds have taken the back burner to taking care of Ryan and myself and going to work--dishes, house cleaning, recycling, even my daily photography. I owe my Tumblr many pictures now. I hate it, but I'm just too tired, and there's more important things to worry about.

One more day, then two days off. I can make it. Wish us luck and health!

The Day Might Have Won Today...

Blargh.

Went to sleep around...12:30? We both tossed and turned, Ryan fought a cough and a fever, and I did my usual am-I-asleep-or-awake routine. Woke up at 7:30 to call him in sick (his throat hurt too much to do so), didn't fall back asleep until around 9. Alarm went off at 10, got up and went to CVS to get a thermometer, cough drops, six bottles of Gatorade, and a bottle each of Echinacea and vitamin C (the latter two were mostly for me, I'll be honest).

Went to work at noon. Worked until six. Had to work with a person who drives me up the wall, felt run down and cranky and dumb from the lack of sleep, somehow managed to not mess up any drinks or kill any customers.

Came home, took Ryan out to get dinner, came home and ate and opened the package of Christmas presents from David & Dorita (thanks, you guys! I promise to call and thank you for real when I'm more alive!!). We're both now tapping idly at the computers, and I'm wondering how much longer I'm going to make it.

I don't feel sick, exactly, just...exhausted. I got maybe three hours in a row last night, and I really have no idea if that's a solid number or not. Combined with tomorrow's 10:30 shift, it's probably going to be a very early night tonight.

If you could send us thoughts of good health it would be most appreciated....*zzzzzz*

Poop.

After spending a good portion of last evening and most of day trying to find anybody to cover my shift, I must haul my butt to work in just a few minutes. I spent most of yesterday taking care of Ryan as a cold set in, and I am a combination of tired, sniffly, and headachy...not to mention I'd feel better if I could take care of Ryan instead of cleaning things at work. Oh well. Such is life.

Picture for the day: Ryan has an idea.

Wish Me Luck.

Thinking about what I wanted to change in/for 2011, I thought of a lot of things: eating habits, exercise habits, daily habits, writing habits, etc. The usual New Years Resolutions stuff.

The one thing that kept popping up, however, was Honesty.

I want to be a more honest person. I'm not exactly a dishonest person now, I don't lie or cheat or steal. I do, however, partake in some gossip (something I'm not proud of), and I keep things to myself that hide the whole picture of how I feel about a person or a situation, the whole picture of who I am. I've been thinking on how I'd like to change these, and other, things.

Then, as always, Free Will Astrology decided to play with my head.

Can you finally escape the pain you got imprinted with during adolescence? Is it a realistic possibility that you could triumph over the conditioning you absorbed before you knew how to talk? Do you have the power to do what few of us have done, which is to get out from under the weight of the past, shed the inertia of your memories, and live brave and free in the raw truth of NOW? If there will ever in your life be a time when you can accomplish at least some of this noble quest, Gemini, it will be in 2011.

The raw truth of Now. That is exactly what I want, and what I need.

I'm going to spend the next month concentrating on purging myself of the Bad and Not Good For Me Secrets, on being upfront with people and not being fake, on telling the whole truth to the world and myself.

I won't give away all my secrets, because some are Good, or are secret for a reason, or aren't mine to give away. I won't stop being fake by brandishing when I'm unhappy or disapproving or downright cranky, but by highlighting the honest good moods and feelings instead of squashing them when I think it'd be more "popular" to do so.

I want to do what the horoscope suggests: get out from under the weight of my past and shed the inertia of my memories. I have spent most of my life hunched over under the burden of the guilt and shame I've either put on myself, or let others put on me. Neither is right. Neither has ever been okay, but I refuse to let it be okay anymore.

I want to say "I renounce it all from this moment!" but it's so much harder than that. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I know that many of you reading this can understand this feeling, understand the desire, the fear, and the difficulty of which I speak.

I want to live in the raw truth of now. The raw truth of now can be beautiful and ugly, can be easy and hard, can be exactly what I want and exactly what I fear. But it is not what the terrified 12-year-old that still hides in my brain thinks it is, nor is it what the anxious 18-year-old thinks it is, or even the mired 24-year-old. It is not what I've been taught by years of conditioning done by others and myself. It is not what has happened before, good or bad.

The raw truth of now is only what is in front of me. I can draw on experience, on what wisdom I've gained in my 25 years, on lessons I've been taught and told by the people in my life. But I need to learn that drawing on those things is not the same as looking into a crystal ball and knowing what will happen.

I can never know what will happen. That's terrifying and exhilarating.

Honesty, and the raw truth of now. That is what I want to grow in myself in the year 2011. I know I can do it.